18,000 and Holding…For Now.

May 27, 2009

It was 10:32 a.m. when the plane wheels hit the tarmac. Within seconds my iPhone was cued up and the news on the California Supreme Court’s decision on Prop 8 read just as I had suspected it would, “Court rules to uphold Prop 8; 18000 existing marriages to stand.” Though it was expected it was no less devastating. There was that moment when it hit me like a punch in the gut and I responded in typical fashion. I teared up. It made no difference that I was in an airplane, in an airport, or in a subway train, surrounded by gawking curious strangers. I was weepy which seemed a fairly healthy and normal initial response to another blast of injustice and inequality in the solar plexus.

But that was yesterday and today is today.

And today my cherished marriage remains legal and fully recognized within the State of California as D and I are among the 18000 whose marriages stand fully intact. D is my legal wife. I am hers. No re-wording of the California Constitution, no Proposition 8, and no vote by the slim majority of the people of this fine state were able to undo my “I do.”

From Yreka to San Diego I have the full legal backing of the State of California as determined by the California Supreme Court to call D my wife and speak about our marriage. Lou Sheldon can work himself into a lather, the Yes on 8 campaign leadership can kick and scream until they’re red in the face, and the Mormon Church can have conniption fits until the cows come home but so it is and so it will be. I am gay. I am married. Legally.

Let’s be really clear about what happened yesterday and it was simply this; the California Supreme Court ruled that Prop 8 was in fact an amendment and not a revision to the California Constitution and therefore they were compelled to rule in favor of upholding Prop 8 since 52% of the voting population voted in favor of it on the November ballot. Will of the people and all that.

But here’s what didn’t happen yesterday. The California Supreme Court did not rule that same-sex marriage is illegal or invalid. Remember, these are the very same seven judges who in last year’s 4-3 decision ruled that same-sex couples have a fundamental right to every advantage that straight couples do, including the right to call their legal union “marriage,” and so their decision to have the 18000 existing same-sex marriages stand affirms their previous determination and commitment. According to the highest court in this state, those 18000 same sex marriages are to be legally recognized by this state in language, status, and rights. Looking at yesterday’s ruling in another way, while the Court officially ruled 6-1 in favor of upholding Prop 8, they ruled just as clearly by  7-0 that same-sex marriages occurring from their initial decision last year until the November election are as legally binding as any heterosexual couple married before or since that time period. This is more than semantics or wishful thinking. These are the facts and are more articulately and fully outlined over at Daily Kos in an essay by Seneca Doane.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not wiping my brow with a relieved sigh because my marriage to the most amazing woman in the world remains legally intact. There is such a bittersweetness to this whole thing I can’t even tell you because even while D and I are understandably grateful for the legal affirmation and protection of our own marriage, we’re more than painfully aware that another class status has been thrust upon the greater GLBTQ community in California; those with the privileged status of legal marriage and those without. We go into this day with the full awareness that in the near future a young lesbian or gay male couple might meet one another for the first time, development a relationship, fall madly in love and want nothing more than to commit their lives to one another for the rest of their days. They might choose to express this commitment to one another in marriage as D and I have done, only they won’t be allowed to do so because the amended language of the California Constitution excludes them from the right to legally marry. This exclusion is now made all the more discriminatory and unfair for them because not only are heterosexual couples allowed to have what they cannot but so are 36,000 other gay and lesbians.

But one day, they will be allowed to marry. Just like anyone. Just like us. We won’t stop moving forward until we arrive at that place where all people are treated with dignity and equality under the law, and with hope and determination justice and equality are inevitable. A sure thing. A done deal.

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