90 Minutes of Big Time Boo-Hoo

Date January 26, 2009

If you missed the first two airings of Lifetime Channel’s Prayers for Bobby you still have one more chance tomorrow night, January 27, at 9:00 p.m. Eastern/Pacific on Lifetime. There’s a good reflection piece and summary on the movie over at Bilerico Project. For those who don’t have cable access, the movie is already available for download on iTunes. Just follow this path: TV Shows–>Lifetime —>Go to Lifetime Movies. For the time-being a banner ad link is at the top of the TV Shows page.

D and I watched it yesterday afternoon and while I well suspected I’d be boo-hooing through it as I do through most Lifetime movies and anything that even hints at Hallmark, this one caught me off guard with the emotional impact. A little some of it’s power had to do with being personally connected to the two locations highlighted in the story. Bobby’s family lived in Walnut Creek, California, a few miles down the road from where D and I live, and Bobby moved and took his life in Portland, Oregon, my home town. But certainly it was far more than that. The impact of the story is that it was not only a true story, but continues to be a true story unfolding in conservative Christian homes around the country every day. A young person comes out and a parent responds in a flood of emotion; telling their son or daughter they aren’t really gay because they can’t be gay. God condemns homosexuality. You can’t love God and be gay. It’s not the life for you. It’s perverse and disgusting. This is just a temptation. You’re confused is all. This is a spiritual battle for your soul.  Don’t give in and let the Enemy win. We’ll get help for you. There are ministries and counselors that can help you change. You are not gay. No child of mine will ever be gay.

Prayers for Bobby reminds us once again of who is to blame for the tormented lives and tragic deaths of queer young people and adults. It isn’t the young person, the parent, or family. The blame lays square on the shoulders of fundamentalist doctrine that ignores the central message of Christ’s teaching while favoring the letter of an ancient code of law; a doctrine chiseled in the stone tablets of legalism rather than empowered by the compassion of God’s grace. This is why we keep speaking the truth and living in the truth no matter, so that one day the walls of ignorance will crumble one brick at a time and be no more. Truth always wins in the end. Always.

If you’re a young gay person or are questioning your sexuality, you don’t need to be alone in your confusion or fear. There are people who understand and care and are on your side. There are older adults and people your age who’ve already been where you’ve been and know how you feel. If you feel lost or alone call the Trevor Project at 866-488-7386. Call it right now. The phone call is free and confidential. People are there who can answer your questions and help you figure out what to do next if you don’t know what to do. Give them a chance okay? You don’t need to be alone. There is help. And between you and me, God doesn’t demand you change and be straight and if you’re not sure if you’re gay or straight God’s okay with that too. All that God wants for you is that you would be fully who you are and to enjoy each day of life that God has given to you out of the abundance of His love. You matter. Do you hear me? You matter. You are important and valuable and you belong here on this earth just as you are. Count on it.


If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

4 Responses to “90 Minutes of Big Time Boo-Hoo”

  1. Amy said:

    thank you for your words to those in confusion and fear. amen, amen!

  2. Kevin said:

    You are so right, Anita. I watched this movie on Sunday and was really moved by it, due in no small part to the fact that I am the child of a fundamentalist mother very much like Mary used to be and that if I ever have the courage to come out to her would react in very much the same way that Mary did initially. Sadly, I don’t think my mother would come around.

    Anyway, the movie is very powerful and I’m so glad I watched it. Thanks for talking about it!

  3. Joyce said:

    This was SUCH a powerful movie! I was so touched and impressed by how they dealt with this true story. While it was heart-breaking…it also gave me hope. Thank you for posting this!

  4. anita said:

    Kevin–> It sounds like the movie really connected with you and understandably so. All I can tell you Kevin is my mom is no less fundamentalist and yes, there were some really hard years there for both of us but today we’re closer than ever. That my wife is invited to be part of family celebrations at this point is something I would never have even dared to imagine. I give thanks to God and a mother who was eventually able to hold both her religious convictions and her love for her daughter hand in hand.

    Joyce–>As was your experience, I hope so many others find hope in this one family’s tragedy. Glad you’re here by the way :)

    Amy–> We all have to say those words over and over again until not a person remains who doubts God’s love for them.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>