Comments on: A Poetic Prayer for Lent and A Question http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/a-poetic-prayer-for-lent-and-a-question/ An online community sharing our lives and faith within a place of grace Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:47:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: TDK http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/a-poetic-prayer-for-lent-and-a-question/comment-page-1/#comment-17244 TDK Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:23:29 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=4619#comment-17244 Thanks Laura - what a powerful question. Thanks Anita for giving me the chance to reflect. Thanks Laura – what a powerful question. Thanks Anita for giving me the chance to reflect.

]]> By: Laura H. http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/a-poetic-prayer-for-lent-and-a-question/comment-page-1/#comment-17194 Laura H. Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:57:46 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=4619#comment-17194 TDK--> WOW. Thank you for your beautiful and meaningful post. What a powerful message, and such a delight to read. I felt the breath of fresh air throughout your words. Lovely. TDK–> WOW. Thank you for your beautiful and meaningful post. What a powerful message, and such a delight to read. I felt the breath of fresh air throughout your words. Lovely.

]]> By: TDK http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/a-poetic-prayer-for-lent-and-a-question/comment-page-1/#comment-17138 TDK Sat, 27 Feb 2010 19:26:01 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=4619#comment-17138 Anita, what a good question. It was last Easter during Lent that I found this site. I was struggling with the realization that I was gay and that I knew I could no longer hide and live being dishonest with myself, with my Lord, and with others. And yet, I feared that I would lose everything in my life - my relationship with Jesus, my family, friends, church, leadership and I would ruin my son's life. I entered a depression as I realized that for 25 adult years, I had eaten to avoid being seen by anyone romantically and to numb the pain and the emotions. It allowed me to pretend that I was in control. The day before Easter, some of the losses had started, and I was ready to no longer live on this Earth. I just wanted to be home with my Father. I didn't follow through with my plan because God intervened and I realized that nothing could separate me from the love of my God. Certainly not being gay. And that day, I lost my self-righteousness, my view of a God that would judge me for creating me gay. I lost hypocracy, dishonesty, and my thought that I was in control of my life. What did I gain? In the year since this momentous decision, I have gained a glimpse of the grace of my God. The kind of grace that makes me fall down on my knees and cry and wonder how I could ever be acceptable to Him, and yet the knowledge that I am. I have gained the knowledge that He created me, and He did so in His fashion, and that He has the perfect plan for my life. And wow, even when I don't see it, it is indeed the perfect plan. I have gained my emotions, and the ability to turn them over to God for healing when hurt, instead of reaching for the first cookie I could find. I have gained the experience that physical intimacy and touch from a woman is acceptable to my Lord, because He created me as not only an intellectual being, but a sexual being who desires intimacy. I have realized that friends and family who only love or want a relationship with you because you are straight, are not really worth having. And while my parents may still wonder what they did wrong, they still love and want only my happiness for me. My son, wow -- I learned that I have a son who loves unconditionally, who does not see race, creed, or sexuality as a reason to treat anyone differently. And while he still can't pick up his socks or toys, he will be able to pick up life as an adult. I gained a bunch of new friends along the path, and reclaimed ones from my past that I walked away from because they were doing things I didn't approve of. And finally, I gained a love for me, just as God created me, not perfect by any means, but growing and allowing Him to be in control. This time, it is an honest love - the kind of love that won't allow me to hide from myself, others or God. Your question made me look back at the past year, and I have gained so much more than I ever lost. While church, ministry, and even some close friends are gone, there is a new church, a new ministry, and new friends. And those are deeper and more fulfilling because they are based in honesty and the knowledge that my God loves EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME, AND IN THE MOST PERFECT WAY. Now that is a knowledge that surpasses all human understanding and calms one's heart! Anita, what a good question. It was last Easter during Lent that I found this site. I was struggling with the realization that I was gay and that I knew I could no longer hide and live being dishonest with myself, with my Lord, and with others. And yet, I feared that I would lose everything in my life – my relationship with Jesus, my family, friends, church, leadership and I would ruin my son’s life. I entered a depression as I realized that for 25 adult years, I had eaten to avoid being seen by anyone romantically and to numb the pain and the emotions. It allowed me to pretend that I was in control. The day before Easter, some of the losses had started, and I was ready to no longer live on this Earth. I just wanted to be home with my Father. I didn’t follow through with my plan because God intervened and I realized that nothing could separate me from the love of my God. Certainly not being gay. And that day, I lost my self-righteousness, my view of a God that would judge me for creating me gay. I lost hypocracy, dishonesty, and my thought that I was in control of my life.

What did I gain? In the year since this momentous decision, I have gained a glimpse of the grace of my God. The kind of grace that makes me fall down on my knees and cry and wonder how I could ever be acceptable to Him, and yet the knowledge that I am. I have gained the knowledge that He created me, and He did so in His fashion, and that He has the perfect plan for my life. And wow, even when I don’t see it, it is indeed the perfect plan. I have gained my emotions, and the ability to turn them over to God for healing when hurt, instead of reaching for the first cookie I could find. I have gained the experience that physical intimacy and touch from a woman is acceptable to my Lord, because He created me as not only an intellectual being, but a sexual being who desires intimacy. I have realized that friends and family who only love or want a relationship with you because you are straight, are not really worth having. And while my parents may still wonder what they did wrong, they still love and want only my happiness for me. My son, wow — I learned that I have a son who loves unconditionally, who does not see race, creed, or sexuality as a reason to treat anyone differently. And while he still can’t pick up his socks or toys, he will be able to pick up life as an adult. I gained a bunch of new friends along the path, and reclaimed ones from my past that I walked away from because they were doing things I didn’t approve of. And finally, I gained a love for me, just as God created me, not perfect by any means, but growing and allowing Him to be in control. This time, it is an honest love – the kind of love that won’t allow me to hide from myself, others or God.

Your question made me look back at the past year, and I have gained so much more than I ever lost. While church, ministry, and even some close friends are gone, there is a new church, a new ministry, and new friends. And those are deeper and more fulfilling because they are based in honesty and the knowledge that my God loves EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME, AND IN THE MOST PERFECT WAY. Now that is a knowledge that surpasses all human understanding and calms one’s heart!

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