A SisterFriend and Sister to a Brother

August 16, 2010

Me. My brother Randy. My mom’s left elbow.

Same headboard. Same but cooler brother. Same and still adoring sister.

Me and Randy playing with my new race car set on Christmas morning.
Yes. I wanted and got a race car set.
What do you mean you aren’t surprised?
What are you trying to imply?

Out on the golf course with my brother.
Yes. Race car sets and golf.
Seriously. Back off.

The point I’m trying to make is that Randy has always been the kind of big brother every kid sister wishes she could have; a big brother who spends time with you, plays with you, puts up with you, and lets you follow at his heels closer than his own shadow.

To this day it’s a bit of a mystery as to why my brother would let me do that given that I was….
just a little bit of….
an obnoxious little sister.

Hopefully the passing of years have found me less obnoxious (just a little less maybe?) but my brother has become no less the big brother that any kid sister could wish for. Are you getting the idea I still adore him?

When it was time to come out to my family, he was the first one I told and like a hundred times before he was there when I needed him to tell me he loved me and would be in my corner. Okay. And he also said he didn’t get the whole “gay thing” but that he just wanted me to be happy. Good enough. More than enough.

And eight years later when I was sucker-punched by love and D and I were to marry, he was the one who didn’t hesitate to walk me down the aisle and to stand beside me and with me in the love and support I’ve grown accustomed to from my big brother.

Just like any brother – sister relationship it hasn’t been all pony rides and caramel corn. We’ve had our moments.
…..“You brat!”
“You creep!
…..“Shaddup!”
“No! You shaddup!”
…..“Mommmmmmmm!”

And then we made up. We always make up. That’s what real love does. It ruins you from holding a grudge.

I have another brother and a sister. He is strong, true, and good. She is generous, determined, and insane (which I mean in the best of possible ways.) Awesome. Amazing. Equally cool.  But I’m not writing about them.

I’m writing about  Randy because Randy was diagnosed less than a year ago with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. ALS is what Morrie in “Tuesdays with Morrie” had. There is no cure or treatment for ALS and the  average life span for someone is 2-5 years following their initial diagnosis.

Randy’s ALS began as a slight limp in one leg a year ago. Today his mobility is limited to a wheelchair. In a time too soon to even imagine he’s going to be paralyzed and unable to communicate though his mind and intellect will remain untouched.

My brother’s going to die from ALS. As a family we’re devastated by the thought of our future loss while at the same time being so thankful that for now we’re all together. We’re thankful too that Randy not only has the loving support of an incredible wife, our entire family, and a network of caring friends who all will be journeying with Randy through this time, but he has the financial means to adapt their home to meet his changing physical needs and buy the equipment that’s so vital in helping him maintain a level of independence as the disease progresses.

Randy and our family realize this isn’t how it is for so many living with ALS who lack a wider network of support and have limited access to the equipment and resources that help ease even a little of the devastating burden of this disease.

To honor the brother who walked me down the aisle at my wedding ten years ago, I’ll be walking to support Randy this September with the rest of my family in a”Walk to Defeat ALS”, a three mile fundraiser that will raise money to provide equipment, resources, and support for people living with ALS and their families in Oregon and Washington.

You know  I don’t ask for financial support to keep this blog going but now I’m asking that you’d consider making a donation toward ALS by sponsoring me in the walk. I know there’s a number of equally worthwhile causes that need support and one of them may well have personally impacted you or your loved ones as ALS has done me and my family. If that’s the case then continue to contribute in that direction. But if you have a few bills to spare, then consider my hand outstretched in your direction. I’m not above begging. Not for people like my brother and their loved ones like my family. Any contribution you can make, whatever size it may be, will make a tangible difference in the life of someone living with ALS, and if there’s no loose change in your own coin jar then get your friends to come over here and read this post.  Your rich friends that is.

To learn more about ALS or make an online donation go to my personal ALS page here, or send checks made out to “ALS” to:
Grace Unfolding Ministries
P.O. Box 1319
Danville, CA   94526

And finally, and yes I know this has been a long one but it’s not like you had anything else to do, here’s a short video clip from a recent gathering of family and friends as Randy talks to us about the financial and emotional burden carried by those living with ALS. Randy. Did I mention he’s my big brother. How cool is that? How lucky am I?

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