An Open Letter to Wendy

April 4, 2008

This is a portion of Wendy’s response to my entry, God Revealed or What’s It Look Like When God Shows Up?

I just want to save this to read it over and over again . . .when I sit in church and wonder whether I am “worthy” to take communion.

Dear Wendy,

Thank you for your willingness to share the struggle you face at the communion table. I’ve heard it so often from other GLBTQ Christians, and in my years of mainstream Christian ministry it was and continues to be a common concern expressed by others regardless of their sexual orientation; those people raised to believe that God’s favor is earned through righteousness and holy living; those individuals who carry with them regrets and mistakes from the past that because they haven’t let go of, believe God hasn’t let go of; and so many people who honestly think that who they are in the present moment just isn’t enough to make them worthy to come to the table. They think they need to do something different or be something different and then and only then can they come and eat of the bread and drink of the cup. Nothing breaks my heart more than the thought that anyone would give pause to coming to the table because they think they don’t belong there, that the table is set for everyone else but not for them. I have to believe if I feel as I do even now as I write this, that God is moved beyond compassion that we will ever understand for the soul who sits in the pew, unable to rise and make the walk to the bread and the chalice or for the one who even as the crust breaks away in their mouth wonders “Am I enough for this? Do I deserve to taste such goodness and grace?”

While I participate in the life and ministry of a Lutheran congregation, I’m ordained in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). The reason I pursued ordination in that denomination was primarily based on their history and view of Christ’s table as open and accessible to all. They tell this story. Alexander Campbell, who would come to be one of the founders of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) belonged to a very strict Presbyterian Church in his homeland in Ireland. At the time, if you wanted to receive communion, it was necessary for a group of church leaders to come to your home and interview you. They were to judge if your doctrine was sound and you were living a life they deemed as righteous. If you passed inspection, you were given a small token which you would then bring with you to church and lay on the communion table. This was your golden ticket to receive the bread and cup. The story goes that one day, Alexander Campbell couldn’t stand it any longer and so he went through the regular procedure and received his token but when Sunday came and he walked forward to the table, placed the token he had earned on the table and then he turned around, walked back up the aisle and out the church doors. He did this because he’d come to a moment of spiritual revelation in his own life where he realized it wasn’t the place of the church to decide who was worthy of receiving communion because it was Christ’s table and we come at Christ’s invitation.

The churches approval of you or anyone, how we live or what we believe has nothing to do with the table. Our sexual orientation has nothing to do with the table. The communion table holds different meanings to different people, but ultimately as Christians we come to the table because Christ invites us to come to remember him. (Luke 22:14-19). Jesus says “Just come and remember me. Remember, I’m the one who happily ate with any and all who would sit with me at table. Remember, I’m the one who broke bread with those who others had judged unclean and unholy. Remember, I’m the one who pushed over the tables of the moneychangers because they dared to make God inaccessible to those who couldn’t purchase the required sacrifices they bartered at inflated prices. Remember, I’m the one who went willingly to the cross because I refused to be silent about the extravagant love of God that shook the wall others had constructed around it to the ground. Remember me.”

Wendy, the table has been prepared and set by Christ. The bread and cup are his alone to give and he extends it to all and to everyone and that, my dear sisterfriend, includes you! God calls to each of us to come; eat and drink, remember Jesus, receive grace upon grace. It’s the greatest act of hospitality and generosity this world has ever known, that God has a table big enough for everyone. We don’t change to come to the table, but rather the table and all that it symbolizes has the power to change us, calling us to walk deeper in God’s grace and in newness of life. We don’t deny who we are to come to the table but we bring all that we are, our wholeness and our humanness into God’s presence and there we’re fed and strengthened for the journey.

You could say none of us are worthy to come to the table and you’d be right. You could also say all of us are worthy to come to the table and you’d be right. Such is the gift of redeeming love and grace beyond measure. It’s why more often than not, I’m so awed and grateful for the table and all it means to me that I feel it would be more true for me to approach it on my knees rather than on my feet. And I hope, more than hope, I pray Wendy, that the next time you stand before the table you’d be able to silence the doubts long enough to hear Christ say “Come, there’s room for you here. I’ve been saving this one bite of bread and this one sip from the cup just for you. I’m so glad you’re here.”

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Posted in Church, Love and Grace, Theology