The documentary 8: The Mormon Proposition recently became available for purchase on iTunes and so last week I viewed it on my iPad while sitting at Starbucks. I should have known better. Entering into a dialogue with your TV screen in the privacy of your own home is one thing but the same behavior in public tends to draw unwanted attention and perhaps a diagnostic questioning from trained health care professionals called to the scene by a nervous barista.

The catalyst for talking out loud with my inside voice both at Starbucks and around our house in spontaneous outbursts ever since have nothing to do with the specific content of the film or in the Mormon Churches actions around Proposition 8 in general. Not that I’m thrilled with their part but I’m not a Mormon and so I leave it to GLBTQ Mormons to challenge the attitudes and behaviors of their own church along with all the others, both gay and straight, religious and non-religious who are intent on holding them to account.

While the documentary focused on the Mormon churches involvement in Prop 8 my concern is with the involvement of evangelical Christianity; not that they supported it’s passage (given their theological position on homosexuality is it even a reasonable expectation they would have supported marriage equality?) but that leaders within the evangelical Christian movement were involved in a way that was inconsistent with other Christian teachings they’ve held for decades, and in compromising one truth in pursuit of another truth they’ve caused harm to themselves and to their witness to the world.

I’m not saying any of this as an outsider looking in but rather as one who called evangelical Christianity my spiritual home for 40 years and to whom I still, though no longer counted among them, feel an affection and connection, and despite my incredible disappointment in how they have responded to GLBTQ people in general and to GLBTQ believers (the ones seated next to them in the pew and across the breakfast table) in particular, I want the best for the church so that they might truly become a visible sign of God’s presence in the world.

But they, like me have a long way to go.

So dig in to your chair and see if you can stay with me on this one….

Having been born and bred within evangelical conservative Christianity, I’m not only intimately acquainted with the churches position on homosexuality but on their long-standing teaching regarding Mormonism. During the ’60s and ’70s when our contemporary culture was saturated with religious sects like the Unification Church and their well-groomed Moonies and airport terminals were bouncing with dancing orange-clad followers of Hare Krishna, the church was on Code Red, alerting it’s members to the dangers of being taken in by false religions among which Mormonism topped the list. Evangelical Christianity has a long established record of not only viewing Mormonism as one among many false religions but as one of the most threatening to Christianity because while appearing at first glance to adhere to traditional Christian theology, a deeper exploration of their teaching revealed their theology as a “perversion” of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The article, The Mormon-Evangelical Divide, which appeared in Christianity Today back in 2000 highlights some of these points of conflict. And sadly but not surprisingly, there also exists a number of Christian-based Mormon bashing websites just a search engine away.

My understanding, formed within the context of evangelical Christianity was that simply because the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints used the name of Jesus and presented themselves as Christians, I needed to be on guard so as not to be taken in by their false teachings. No matter how they might try to appear or convince us otherwise, Mormons were not Christians and so we were instructed to avoid associating with them (II Corinthians 6:14-17) unless it was for the purpose of engaging with them in a way that might lead them to the true Christian faith and a real relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s also important to keep in mind that in the understanding of evangelical Christianity false teachers are also described as “wolves in lamb’s clothing” and “enemies of God.” Same thing by whatever name.

Despite the passing of years, the same attitudes regarding Mormonism I learned in “The World’s False Religions 101″ have continued to persist in mainstream evangelical Christianity as evidenced in the exclusion of the LDS church from official participation in the annual National Day of Prayer which created considerable contention in 2004 when they were prohibited from being involved in a scheduled event held in Salt Lake City. Yes, that would be the Salt Lake City, founded by Mormon pioneers, headquarters to the LDS Church International, with a general population that consists of more than 50% Mormons. The National Day of Prayer Task Force in 2004 as to this present day is led by Shirley Dobson, the wife of James Dobson of Focus on the Family.

As for James Dobson in 2008 his Focus on the Family ministry pulled a link off their site to an article on talk show host Glenn Beck’s book “The Christmas Sweater” after numerous calls were made to Focus on the Family voicing concern that Beck was a member of the LDS church. The prepared statement Focus on the Family provided to future callers on the Beck-LDS connection read as follows:

You are correct to note that Mr. Beck is a member of the Mormon church, and that we did not make mention of this fact in our interview with him. We do recognize the deep theological difference between evangelical theology and Mormon theology, and it would have been prudent for us at least to have pointed out these differences. Because of this confusion we have removed the interview.

While Dobson isn’t the sole voice for evangelical Christianity, he is regarded as an influential voice and prominent leader among evangelical Christians and Focus on the Family has occupied center stage in the evangelical movement for several decades. And yet, despite the evangelical position that the LDS church is a non-Christian cult to the outright exclusion of Mormons from a major “Christian” event and in removing an interview with a Mormon on a evangelical Christian website, Focus on the Family readily joined with the LDS Church in 1997 to form the World Congress of Families, along with a number of other evangelical Christian and Catholic organizations. The singular purpose of the World Congress of Families is to promote, uphold and defend the “natural family” in society.

Building on this existing alliance, Focus on the Family and the leaders of the LDS Church joined forces several years later to establish ProtectMarriage.com (as if I’d provide a working link to their site) which was at the center of the Yes on 8 campaign. While 8: The Mormon Proposition focused attention on the millions given by the Utah-based LDS church to fund the passage of Proposition 8, they failed to mention that Colorado-based Focus on the Family gave nearly 800,000 dollars, second in giving only to the Mormons, including a lump sum of 100,000 given in late October only days before announcing Focus on the Family would be laying off 20% of their employees due to budgetary constraints.

Not to be outdone by evangelical Christians, the Southern Baptists were equally passionate supporters of Proposition 8 and of ProtectMarriage.com. Days after the November 2008 election, the California Southern Baptist Convention presented the following resolution at their annual gathering:

The California Southern Baptist Convention expresses its appreciation and heartfelt gratitude to the ProtectMarriage.com coalition that spearheaded the effort to restore and protect biblical, traditional marriage in California and throughout our nation. We strongly encourage our churches and their members to pray for, promote, and uphold the biblical model of marriage.

These are the same Southern Baptists of which Amy Sullivan reports in an article for the Washington Monthly, are “particularly vocal about labeling the LDS Church a ‘cult.’”

In 1997, the denomination published a handbook and video, both with the title The Mormon Puzzle: Understanding and Witnessing to Latter-day Saints. More than 45,000 of these kits were distributed in the first year; the following year–in a throwing down of the proselytizing gauntlet–the Southern Baptist Convention held its annual meeting in Salt Lake City. Around the same time, a speaker at the denomination’s summit on Mormonism declared that Utah was “a stronghold of Satan.” When Richard Mouw, president of the evangelical Fuller Theological Seminary, tried to repair relations with the LDS community by apologizing on behalf of evangelicals during a speech in the Mormon Tabernacle last year, his conservative brethren lashed out. Mouw had no right, they declared in an open letter, to speak for them or apologize for denouncing Mormon “false prophecies and false teachings.”

Evangelical Christians came out vocally in the months before and after the 2008 election in support not only of Proposition 8 but in their active and influential support of ProtectMarriage.com. James Dobson. Charles Colson. Jim Robertson. All prominent evangelical leaders who have at other times and in other places been equally vocal in their opposition of the LDS church, calling it a non-Christian cult which presents false teaching. Inspired and encouraged by their call for all Christians to become involved in the passage of Prop 8, more than 215 congregations and evangelical conservative faith-based organizations joined as partners with ProtectMarriage.com and not surprisingly a poll taken by the Public Policy Institute of California the day after the election concluded that more than 85% of evangelical, born-again Christians voted in support of Prop 8.

So here then is the issue for me. While there’s no hesitation in my heart or mind around the idea of the LDS church and the Evangelical Christian movement meeting together in interfaith dialogue or establishing cordial relationships built on mutual respect for the others faith clearly there’s been not only hesitation but unflinching resistance on pursuing any such relationship by the very same evangelical Christians who joined with the LDS church in the formation of ProtectMarriage.com.

Out of one side of their mouths evangelical leaders have called the LDS church an offense to the Gospel (along with naming them as false teachers, wolves in sheep’s clothing, and enemies of God) and out of the other side of their mouth they all but rushed to form an alliance with the LDS church in their efforts toward the passage of Proposition 8 and then rushed just as quickly to their defense when the Mormon church was held to account for their actions. This not only makes evangelical Christianity appear inconsistent and disingenuous to many in the world but at the very least communicates the unspoken but equally unmistakable message that “the end justifies the means,” an adage that under any circumstances is impossible to confuse as a teaching of Christ or a maxim of Christianity. In the language of evangelical Christianity I would want to ask, “Is protecting the institution of marriage more important than protecting the truth of the Gospel?” And if their answer is yes (as it seems to be by their actions), “Is protecting the institution of marriage worth the price of casting a shadow on the churches witness to the world?”

Some might think I’m reading too much into all this but I don’t think I am. I know that evangelical Christianity and I parted ways along time ago when it comes to the question of homosexuality and the Bible, and how the Gospel Jesus would might contribute to the dialogue on equal rights and protections for GLBTQ people under the law, but I’d still like to believe that when it comes to matters of integrity and seeking to be a trustworthy Christian witness to the world that we’d be on the same page. It’s my hope that these basic commitments could be shared and it’s fearing that they aren’t that has me experiencing disappointment in the spiritual home where I came from and in those among them who seem to accept that integrity can be sacrificed in pursuit of some “greater good.”

Or maybe it’s just me….but I don’t think it is.

I realize that as an openly-out non-conflicted lesbian who enjoys (with traces of guilt) being one of only 14,000 gay couples afforded legal marriage status in California that I have a responsibility to be a visible presence for queer youth and for those GLBTQ folk yearning to come out of the closet. Believe me, I take this responsibility seriously but please, just don’t make me go to a Gay Pride Parade to prove it. I’d rather climb up on this wobbly chair in the conservative suburban Starbucks where I now write to confess my gay pride shortcomings and scream “Yes, I Am!” while waving a 5 foot rainbow flag over my head than spend another June Sunday elbowing my way through a aimlessly roaming horde of my gay brothers, lesbian sisters and non-gender specific family while snaking past the alarming number of Absolut Vodka, free condom, and corporate-sponsored vendors that have become the bane of San Francisco Gay Pride. I don’t need another eco-friendly, shoddily-made Gay Pride tee-shirt that fades with the first washing and if I should get a craving for a soggy elephant ear dripping with nauseatingly-sweet raspberry jam or deep-fried Oreo cookies then I’ll just go ahead and commit nutritional suicide at any State Fair in one of the 50 states, including the unincorporated territory of Puerto Rico.

Side Note from A SoapBox: While there’s many worthwhile organizations that participate in Gay Pride and much to be celebrated, I’m increasingly disturbed by the inordinate focus placed on alcohol and sex, not at the initiation of the parade goers but by those corporations whose sponsorship of the day seems less motivated by their support for the gay community than to use the opportunity to target GLBTQ consumers with all their high-gloss banners, slick swag and free merchandise.

Second Side Note from the Same Soapbox: How do you suppose it is that the anti-gay conservative groups will strategically select a number of shock-and-awe images every year from the parade to serve as evidence of the immorality of the homosexual lifestyle,  yet they never seem to arrive at the same conclusion regarding the heterosexual lifestyle despite an even larger amount of evidence established in images of women flashing their breasts for a strand of plastic beads, leering men who can’t take their eyes off them (the breasts not the beads) and outrageous drunken behavior that stands as the hallmark to each and every Mardi Gras parade?

And yes, in case you’re wondering, I feel better now, but before you write me off as the party pooper who served as the inspiration to the song, let me offer a counter-balance to the someone jaded portion of this post that’s probably left you with an urge to go back to bed and pull the covers up over your head.

When I was younger, and by younger I mean any and all years prior to turning 50 years old, I had some profoundly moving Gay Pride Parade experiences despite the crowds and chaos. About one year, three months, and forty-five minutes after coming out I marched in the 1995 Chicago Gay Pride Parade and watched as leather-clad bare-bottomed bears cried on the sidelines as we passed by singing “Jesus Loves Me.” In 1999 I was nearly hugged to death in the most tender way by a rubenesque drag queen with the warmest eyes and a hint of a 5:00 o’clock shadow who went from being a stranger to my brother in sister apparel in the span of a fashion-oppositional hug; he dressed in a tight slinky gown with mile-high stilettos and me in an eligibly-faded tee-shirt from a previous parade and Birkenstocks. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Compliment a drag queen on what a stunning beauty she is and prepare yourself to be mauled.

And then in 2001 my girlfriend (now forever bride) and I filled out the required forms to become legal domestic partners at the PFLAG booth where other queers’ moms and dads shook our hands and congratulated us until we melted into a big weepy ball of silly putty. In 2003 and again in 2004 I spend a few hours working the exhibit booth for the CLGS (Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and Ministry) talking one on one with every kind of queer imaginable and then some about faith and God and their worth in God’s eyes while D anchored her body to the PVC piping framework of our booth to keep it from going airborne and landing on the neighboring booth. “Annie’s Henna Tattoos and Piercings” or something equally San Francisco.

I don’t know exactly why and when the Gay Pride Parade lost it’s magic for me. Maybe I got too old, too comfortable, too lazy, too vanilla. It just seems that when I wasn’t looking I went from being a 44 year single lesbian filled with anticipation, wonder, and a trace of fear to be marching in her first pride parade to a 53 year old married lesbian and clergywoman living in the suburbs who managed to forget the rainbow tribe was boldly and proudly whooping it up yesterday.

Don’t judge me too harshly. I haven’t forgotten my community or my obligation to be out for others who remain hidden and silenced. I haven’t forgotten the struggle that continues or the lies that continue to be told or the lives that continue to be wounded. How could I ever forget when everyday there’s another reminder of how far we have to go even while celebrating how far we’ve come? I’ll continue to live as an unapologetically out lesbian, a word and identity I wear comfortably and gratefully. I’ll continue to speak up, even if it be inadequately so, for those who can’t speak for themselves and I will continue to counter misinformation with truth-telling in the church and in our world.

I guess I’m just at a place in my life where I’ve settled in to being queer enough to know that I don’t have to do my life in a particular way to make it count or to make a difference. Neither do you. Volunteer. Contribute. Participate. Be involved. But above all else live today authentically as yourself and to who God made you to be. The way you live, the truth you speak, and the integrity you possess will do more to change this world than a thousand parades combined will ever do.

Finally, let me impart one last word of wisdom. If you happened to buy a 10 dollar tee-shirt at Gay Pride this year, I suggest you avoid throwing it in the clothes dryer. I’m just saying.

The WWDC is the annual conference (i.e. pep rally, cult gathering) when Steve Jobs announces the latest and greatest “You Must Own This If You Ever Hope to Have a Fulfilling Life” Apple product and this year’s star of the show, the iPhone4, didn’t fail to impress. Front and back camera with flash. HD video recording. iMovie installed. Video chat. App folders. Multi-tasking. Gyroscope. Faster speed, longer battery life, higher resolution.

Wait. I need a minute.

Sorry. It’s just so hard for me to see the computer screen with misty-eyes.

Oh, I can hear you now. No seriously I can. I can hear you, and what I hear you saying with an ever-so slightly edgy tone in your voice (don’t even try to deny it!) is this… “So what does your pathetic obsession with all things iGadgety have to do with God or faith or being a Christian Lesbian?”

Fine. Mock me now but in a minute you’re going to regret prematurely jumping all over my little pony and doubting me. But I, being gracious and good, will forgive you. In fact, consider it already done. Absolution is yours my Sister.

So here’s where I was heading if you would have just given me the benefit of the doubt…

A traditional happening and mega-highlight of Steve’s keynote speech is the moment when he whips out the soon to be released device of the hour and gives a live demo of it’s new features. Usually, the demo comes off without a hitch. Until this year. It was the most perfectly awkward technological glitchy moment I’ve ever seen at a WWDC.

It went something like this. In preparing to live demo the new bust-an-eyeball resolution of the new iPhone4 Steve went to open up the same web page on both an iPhone 3G and iPhone 4 so a side by side comparison could be projected up onto the massive stage screen, but instead what he got were two side by side images of web browsers unable to make a connection due to the number of attendees in the audience who were overloading the auditorium WiFi with all their real-time blogging, facebooking and tweeting. The only way Steve was eventually able to get access to the internet and continue the demo was to plead with the audience to turn off their WiFi-run equipment so he could get a solid connection. Essentially he told them to all shut up and shut down.

How often have we experienced something similar in our own lives when all we want is to make a clear connection with God so that we can know, really know, what God is saying to us but it seems we can’t get through. I don’t know what God wants me to do. I keep waiting for God to say something but I’m not hearing God say anything. I feel like I’m not able to connect with God anymore. Others have no problem speaking for God about my life but everyone is saying something different and besides, I don’t want others to tell me what God is saying; *I want to hear God speak.

It seems the biggest hindrance at one time or another for many of us in hearing from God was due to the interference coming from everyone else. How could we ever hope to connect directly with God when everyone else was blogging, facebooking, tweeting, preaching, counseling, advising and blathering on and on about what they knew God was really saying to us. Voices of condemnation. Voices of consolation. Voices calling us to repentance. Voices calling us to acceptance. Voices telling us God disapproved of who we were and what we were doing. Voices telling us God loved us just as we were. So many voices coming from so many directions that even when we heard a faint intimate whisper of God breaking through to our soul we doubted it because of the sheer number and volume of other the voices coming at us. Our connection seemed weaker than everyone else’s because while we questioned and wondered and struggled, they all seemed so certain. So absolute.

Steve pleaded with the crowd to shut things down on their end so he could get a solid connection and sometimes we need to do the same thing but rather than leaving the action to others we take action to limit how much we’ll take in from outside ourselves so we can listen to what’s being said within. That’s what it took for me in reconciling my faith and sexuality. I put aside all the gay-affirming books and all the ex-gay books. I put aside the theological arguments and biblical interpretations. I stopped looking to others to tell me what was right and what path God would have me walk. I gathered all the information. I did the legwork and the research. I studied and observed and explored. Then I put it aside to be alone with God, to hear from God, to be led by God.

Here’s the thing we need to realize. Our connection with God is never broken. God is always in dialogue with us, Spirit speaking to spirit. God is only silent when we need to be in silence with God. Can you trust that? If you sign off from all the others voices, including mine, that might presume in anyway to know what’s true for you in your personal relationship with God can you trust that God will be faithful to speak to you and that you will be faithful to listen and respond to God’s calling?

I know I’ve said this all before but when I was reminded it of again in such a perfect little moment at the WWDC, I couldn’t help but circle the wagons around it one more time. Trust God. Trust yourself. And for the time being and for as long as you need, tell the rest of us to shut down and sign off.

======

*I’m going to assume we’re all on the same page that when we talk about God speaking to us we’re not referring to an audible voice but rather an inner knowing, a feeling, a sense, a nudge. We hear God speaking to us within the words of Scripture. We hear God speak to us in an encounter with someone else or in an experience that plays out in an ordinary day. However it is that you hear God speak to you, that’s what I’m talking about.

Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?

Christ is Risen, He is Risen Indeed!

My point being that Peace Lutheran is a wonderful place, a sacred and safe refuge for D and I and for so many others who have stumbled into this house of worship filled with genuinely good and imperfect people and heavily influenced by some of the finest Swedes you’ll ever meet this side of the fjords.

I wish you could all just show up one Sunday morning, worship with us, and feel their welcome….but if you ever all decide to turn up in mass, all I ask is that you give me a heads-up. I need to be sure there are enough cookies for the hospitality hour.

D and I originally went to Peace for a couple years when we first got together and then were away for about four years while I fulfilled my ordination requirements. When we returned, Peace was different. The pews once full on Sunday mornings were now only occupied by a few dozen dear and familiar faces. The entire clergy and support staff had been reduced to the pastor and the office administrator. The choir that had once filled the three rows near the glossy black grand piano could now barely fill a standard-sized station wagon. The diverse array of outreach ministries and community involvement that Peace had been known for in the area had largely been set aside or abandoned because of limitations of budget and bodies. The Sunday School Hour, including their amazing children’s program was no more.

In our absence, this thriving congregation had confronted one of those agonizingly painful times that occurs in any number of churches where humans are involved. Life in the church got messy and uncertain. Conflicting stories developed. A few families left. Feelings were hurt and spirits wounded. And those who remained, who had faithfully endured the fire, showed the exhaustion and battle scars of their collective dark night of the soul. Though D and I were depleted from what we had just experienced at another congregation, we wept for Peace and we worried about their future, now our future with them.

But as Walter Bruggemann wrote in his Lenten prayer, through loss comes gain, through death comes new life.

Battle scars are healing. Weary souls are being restored. The rows of once sparsely-filled pews are being filled again; filled with joy and life and thankfulness, and with a people living out their individual commitment to the Gospel of Christ through being an inclusive, justice-minded, creation-conscious community in and to the world. In financial difficult times we’ve just accomplished an amazing feat together. Last Sunday morning we gathered outside in the rain around a round red charcoal grill and burned our mortgage papers, celebrating that with no debt remaining, we can look ahead to investing ourselves and our resources toward ministries that will reach beyond our walls. Last Sunday was also the first time in nearly five years our children gathered before worship in their new Sunday School classrooms. Tonight over bowls of steaming soup and warm bread we’ll gather for Soup and Sacrament, our weekly Lenten meal and meditation. Yes. Peace is breathing deep again and breathing with life that’s extending beyond our four walls to embrace the world. Once a month the sanctuary is over-flowing on Sunday nights with our Jazz at Peace series that brings people in from all over the Bay area. Neighbors to Peace come with dogs, cats, lizards, ponies and bugs in tow to our annual Festival of the Animals and every fall Peace hosts Holy Convergence, a spectacular interfaith worship service and afternoon that brings together Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Bahia and every seeking soul.

There’s so much more happening at Peace these days but most of all what’s happening is the unfolding of hope long unrealized. There were days I wondered. I wondered if Peace would survive. I wondered if these dear people who had been through so much and been through it with so much dignity could hold on a little longer.

I wondered, but I don’t know why I did when in my own life every loss has led to gain and every death has brought the dawn of new life. There are times I get so stuck in the sorrow and suffering of the Lenten seasons of my life that I forget it’s not the destination where I’ll reside forever but instead it’s merely a moment on the path, a path that always and unfailingly leads to yet another Easter morning and to resurrection and new life.

Today your spirit might be empty from all the loss and death is a veil separating you from life but your spirit will be filled and the veil will be lifted. And if you can’t believe that for yourself today, if you can’t believe it for God, then I and all the others who have already walked that road and caught a glimpse of what lies ahead will believe it for you until you can. You can and you will. Just wait and see.

.
Loss is Indeed Our Gain

The pushing and shoving of the world is endless.
…..We are pushed and shoved.
…..And we do our fair share of pushing and shoving
……….in our great anxiety.
And in the middle of that
……….you have set down your beloved suffering son
……….who was like a sheep lead to slaughter
……….who opened not his mouth.
….We seem not able,
….so we ask you to create the spaces in our life
….where we may ponder his suffering
….and your summons for us to suffer with him,
….suspecting that suffering is the only way to come to newness of life.
So we pray for your church in these Lenten days,
….when we are driven to denial -
……..not to notice the suffering,
……..not to engage it,
……..not to acknowledge it.
So be that way of truth among us
….that we should not deceive ourselves.
That we shall see that loss is indeed our gain.
We give you thanks for that mystery from which we live.
Amen.

- Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth: Prayers of Walter Brueggemann

So here’s the question for your own self-reflection and then if you will, to share with us….

Has loss been your gain, and if so, what did you gain?

Okay, that’s technically two questions. Indulge me.

But then again, it wasn’t the worst of years either. While the passing of Prop 8 in 2008 overturned gay marriage in California, in the Spring of 2009 the existing 14,000 same-sex marriages were upheld as legally valid by the California Supreme Court. This was the year that Vermont and Iowa joined Massachusetts and Connecticut in granting marriage equality to gay couples, and as late as yesterday, a gay male couple were legally married in Argentina. In November of this year California Governor  Schwarzenegger signed AB 2567 making May 22, Harvey Milk Day, a state day of recognition, and in December Rev. Mary D. Glasspool became the second openly gay bishop in the Anglican fellowship of the Episcopal Church. And throughout this year while the debate on homosexuality in religious and political circles continues, more and more congregations across the nation added their voices in taking an affirming stance toward the lives, relationships, and ministries of their GLBTQ brothers and sisters.

All across our world there were big and small victories and big and small defeats in the area of gay rights. Three steps forward, two steps back but slowly, ever so slowly we move ahead toward equality and justice for all people.

Speaking personally, 2009 was a hard year for me. It was always be the year I remember first as the year my mom died. It was also the year I said goodbye to Marianne, a friend who lived with, and then died from cancer with more grace than I could ever hope to muster on my best day on earth. I spent nearly a quarter of this year recovery from surgeries, had a few personal disappointments, and in recent weeks have grieved the diagnosis of ALS given to a loved one of mine.

But there were good moments too. In 2009 I watched, howbeit from a distance, my godson sprout like a green bean. I reconnected with old friends. My mom and I had a few tender mother-daughter conversations I’ll hold in my heart forever. My marriage to my beloved was declared valid by the California Supreme Court and we enjoyed the ninth year of the honeymoon phase of our relationship. This was also the year I reached the lifelong goal of reaching a healthy normal-range weight and okay, in keeping with that it was also the year I was able to slip on a pair of size eight jeans without holding my breath.

How about you? While some of us have navigated through this past year with relative ease fueled on by occasions of great joy and celebration, for others it was a brutal year; the personal losses too many to add up and the suffering too great to measure. 2009 has been as gentle as a lamb for some of us and as tough as a lion for others.

But whether you’re sadly waving farewell to 2009 or welcoming 2010 in with a sigh of relief and a swipe across your forehead, here we are. Still standing. Standing together with one another and surrounded in the mercy, compassion, and consolation of God, the One who knows us best and loves us most. However hard this year was for you, you made it. You have arrived at the end of a really rough year in your life and because you’re still here, that in and of itself is a monumental victory; a joyous celebration of your courage and resilience, and of God’s faithfulness to hold you through the darkest nights and the most torrential storms. God was faithful and so were you.

I pray that if 2009 was a year of loss and sorrow for you that 2010 would be a year of restoration and joy. I pray good things for you. I pray moments of delight and laughter for you. I pray truly good people surround you. I pray peace. I pray love. I pray that you find healing, wholeness, comfort, companionship, or whatever it is that is your deepest longing and need. I pray all this believing that God is not only able to perform a good work within you but that God desires and will settle for nothing less for you. These will be the prayers spoken on my lips and carried in my heart as 2009 turns into our yesterday and 2010 becomes our today. I look forward to the coming year, to see what God will do in us and through us, and that we would be open to saying yes to God’s call, wherever it might lead.

You are loved and beloved.
By God who gave you life.
By Christ who redeemed your life.
By the Spirit that wooed you in the beginning and that will carry you through to the end.

Know this one thing, treasure it in your heart, and it will keep you through whatever lies ahead.

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, favoured one! The Lord is with you. But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, ‘Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God.  And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob for ever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.’ Mary said to the angel, ‘How can this be, since I am a virgin?’ The angel said to her, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’ Then the angel departed from her.  -Luke 1

She was perplexed and wondered what sort of greeting this might be.

How can this be since I am a virgin?

Here am I, a servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.

Mary’s response to the angel’s pronouncement is an understatement on so many levels. Even before dealing with the content of what the angel is saying Mary has to take in the context; that being that an angel has shown up in her room in the middle of the night. Though I’m not a scholar of ancient history I’m going to go out on a limb and postulate that angel appearances weren’t a common occurrence in the lives of young Palestinian Jewish girls in the first century. I could be wrong but I’ll take the risk. Whether Gabriel glowed with heavenly light and feathered wings flapping or made a nondescript appearance like Earl, my preferred variety of angel, it was a moment like none other in the young girl’s life. Surprising to say the least and yet the story doesn’t go on to recount how Mary ran screaming from the room or went weak in the knees, swooning to the ground in a heap. No external reaction on her part is revealed; only that internally Mary was perplexed and wondered why the angel had addressed her as favoured one and assured her of God’s presence.

While Mary might have been baffled about it all, why was there no fear on her part? Why no running or screaming or fainting or trembling, all of which I would have done in no particular order or more likely would have done all at the same time? My best guess is because from the moment the angel appeared, despite the extra-ordinariness of what was unfolding, Mary simply accepted what was. There was nothing in her that denied the reality of what was happening or that said no to the moment. You can almost hear the gears in her mind turning over;“This isn’t a dream. This is real. There’s an angel in my room and the angel is speaking to me. Now what?”

Mary’s acceptance allowed Gabriel to get right to the point of why he had come and where he began was by offering Mary the assurance that she had found favor in the eyes of God so she would know that the news to follow wasn’t a punishment for wrongdoing or a test of her faithfulness but instead he had come to tell her that because she had found favor, because God loved her and trusted her faithfulness God had chosen her for a special calling above all others. Mary had been chosen. By God.

And with assurance given the angel went on to round out the details of God’s calling; that she Mary, a young Jewess occupying a humble station in life, born to a family of simple means, engaged to a blue-collar worker, had been chosen to give birth to Messiah, the Promised One, the Hope of her people from the infancy of their beginnings, the King who would reign over the House of Jacob forever and the One whose kingdom would have no end. The angel’s pronouncement was the fulfillment of a promise from God that her people had longed to hear and hinged their lives upon from generation to generation. The angel is revealing that the promise of God to the people of Israel was just on the horizon. The moment had come. The time was now.

And Mary’s response? Now here is the part I love. Don’t miss it. Mary may have been young, but she wasn’t stupid. She knew where babies came from and so she knew it was impossible for her to give birth since she’d never been with a man. What the angel was saying was ridiculous. It was inconceivable. It was out of the question. Nope, not her. Not now. No way. And that’s just what she could have said. “No Gabriel. What you’re saying is impossible because I’m a virgin.” Period. End of story. Yet  instead of making a closed statement Mary asked the question “How can this be since I’m a virgin?” Mary didn’t say no to the impossibility of what God is revealing through Gabriel but instead she asked how it can be possible and in doing so Mary left the door open for the impossible to become possible. She left her heart open to receive the divine revelation for what in her human understanding was inconceivable.

And with her heart and ears open, she received the angel’s explanation for how it will be and answered in simple faith, “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Here I am. Yes. I will accept this calling. Though I may be condemned as a sinner in violation of the law. Though I may lose face among my people. Though I may be rejected and cast out by my community. Though my parents may be ashamed. Though Joseph may abandon me. Though there will be certain pain and labor and blood. Though I will be stepping into the unknown, here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”

That’s all I’m saying. Let God’s Spirit say what God would have you hear.

Spread the Word!

]]> http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/what-you-said-mary/feed/ 3 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/christmas-contest-conclusion/ http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/christmas-contest-conclusion/#comments Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:50:45 +0000 anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=4511 Okay, so confess. Did some of you think to use a spell-check program to find the typos or are you really that speedy and observant? However you did it color me impressed!

As you can tell in looking at the comments, Salt was the first to turn the right answer around and so congrats to you Oh Mighty Salty One! The retractable back scratcher (would I be revealing too much to say I have one and use it on a regular basis?) and the 50 dollar Target gift card will be whisking their way to your mailbox as soon as you send the necessary info to anita@sisterfriends-together.org.

I’ve had a blast putting the contests together for you and I hope the last seven days of play and prizes was equally fun for you. I especially loved the wishes and hopes that were contributed on Day Five and the wonderfully entertaining stories of Christmas gifts you’ve received on Day Six. Great stuff.

I’ll be back tomorrow with thoughts turned toward the true wonder of Christmas, but right now I have to hurry off and correct the typos because they’re driving me crazy!

But first, let’s put our hands together and give a hearty dose of applause magic to Susan, yesterday’s lucky draw contest winner. Susan, I can see it now. You at Starbucks with your venti mocha extra-hot half-caf/decaf latte in one hand and a wad of purple silly putty in the other. Does life get any sweeter than that? I think not either. So congratulations to you! Now hurry up and send off your mailing address to anita@sisterfriends-together.org and in a couple days the miracle of java world domination will be yours. [And Lisa, I'm still waiting to hear from you. Your box is packed and ready for shipping!]

And just to prove I actually mean it when I say I’m writing your names on scraps of paper and pulling them out of a hat, here you go….Scraps of paper. Your names. A hat. I don’t make this stuff up people! “But I don’t see my name! You didn’t put my name in the hat! That’s not fair!” Oh. Calm. Down. Your name was in the hat this morning when the official drawing was conducted, witnessed, and deemed valid by me. I merely staged the photo last night with the names that had come in at that point since Sunday morning tends to notoriously be a little whack in getting out of the door in time to get to church before the opening prayer and call of “Play ball!” and photo-taking would have had me missing the opening swing of the bat. So let’s summarize. Legit drawing. Staged photo. Only believe.

Today’s Contest: Oh my pretties, this is a good one. You need to find the Mystery Word. Here’s how to do it. There is at least one typo in each of the recent posts on the Christmas Contest, Day One through Day Six. (Can I even tell you how painful it was for me to make intentional typos?!) There are a total of eight typos. Each typo has a missing letter. Your task is to find the missing letters from the eight typos and arrange them into an order that reveals the Mystery Word. Post what you believe the Mystery Word is along with the list of the eight words that were missing the letters you used to solve the puzzle. The first person to submit the correct answer will win a retractable back scratcher and a 50.00 Target gift card. I know these are great prizes but please, don’t even consider skipping church to get the jump on everyone! A lump of coal for you if you do.

Okay, there you have it. Now go find it!