Comments on: If We Don’t Choose to be Different, We’ll Be Just the Same

By: Rose

Rose — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 22:11:04 +0000

Dear Maggie,
I would not normally post anything but I read your post and felt very sad. I hope you read my post since you put your message on over a week ago. I do not know where you live (a conservative small Southern town perhaps?) but there are churches that do accept G&L individuals. I am a lifelong Episcopalian and have NEVER heard one cruel word spoken against G&L in a sermon or otherwise. There are some tensions in the church overall but those conservative anti-gay factions were NOT supported by the U.S. Episcopal Church. I know it is easy for me to say, but please try and remove “shame” from your mind. You love your church but you may have to make the decision to worship somewhere where you will be loved and accepted for who you are 100 percent. When “Christians” use or I should say “misuse” our Lord’s name to hurt G&L it really is about the people behind the church not about God or Christ who you know LOVE YOU. I hope you find peace. Be strong in your faith and you will prevail.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 19:24:57 +0000

Hi, I just discovered this site today. I go to a church that I know wouldn’t accept me if I was openly out to them. Some of the people that do know about my homosexuality have the whole, ‘I don’t condemn, but don’t condone’ veiw of it. Others want me to change, so I can be right with Him. Honestly, before I came out, I felt rather far from Him. When I finally started to accept how I am, it’s brought me closer to Him. I’m struggling with telling certain people about my sexuality though. I still feel some shame, even though I know it’s something I can’t change and that God loves me the way I am. I don’t like hiding how I am, but I’m scared of how I will be treated, or that they will kick me out. I love this church. But I don’t know what to do.

By: TDK

TDK — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:09:16 +0000

David, all of us were born with a sin nature. The Law of Moses makes it absolutely clear that by our ownselves, we can not ever begin to know God. Jesus came to be our way, truth, and life. I am indeed a new creature, and I am happy for you that you are a new creature as well.

But what your friend meant was, from the time you began to have sexual attractions, did you want a heterosexual relationship or were you attracted to other men. Our sexual identities have nothing to do with the sin nature, they are a part of us like our eye color or hair color. Read Anita’s post on Grace from last week. None of us would ever want to deliberately sin against the Jesus who paid the price, his Grace leaves me speechless. We believe that God created us gay, and no, that is not like being a drunk. However, there are gay drunks, and I hope that they will realize that they don’t need the alcohol and get themselves to AA and live in the freedom they have through Christ!

By: anita

anita — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:08:51 +0000

David –> It seems the difference is that you compare homosexuality to a long list of destructive behaviors and sins. As GLBTQ Christians and as those equally committed to a relationship with Christ as any other believer, we do not consider our sexual orientation to be a sin. Neither do our straight friends and allies within and outside of the church. Instead we consider our sexual orientation to be nothing more or less than another aspect of God’s creative work within this world and within each of our lives. Your question as to whether we consider homosexuality to be as sinful as being a drunkard suggests to me that you might benefit by reading the personal stories that have already been provided on this website as well as exploring the section on “Homosexuality and the Bible” and reading the statements on homosexuality developed by numerous denominational GLBTQ advocacy groups found under the section “Find a Church.” These would all be helpful in providing you a better perspective on the Biblical perspective and faith commitments of GLBTQ Christians and would certainly go a long way to answering the question you asked.

As a side note David, I don’t know what you mean by the term “drunkard,” but if you’re referring to alcoholism I would be remiss to not mention the commonly held view that alcoholism is an addiction rather than sin. While it can certainly make one vulnerable to destructive behaviors under its influence for the majority of people the solution is found in treating it as an addiction and not a moral weakness or sin.

I appreciate that you visited the site and have taken the time to post as well as to make yourself available for any questions, however I would ask that future comments be held to those directly related to the content of the post to which they’re attached. Thank you

By: DMcGrinn

DMcGrinn — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:52:04 +0000

Allow me to share a recent experience. I had a conversation with a gay man who has been put through the ringer by religious people. Tangent alert: I personally am not a fan of “religion” but like having a personal relationship with Christ. Anyways after this gentlemen figured I did not want to bash him so he opened up a little. His question to me was, “Was I born heterosexual?” He was a little shocked when my answer was no.

Yes I was born gay. But I was also born a drunk, a murderer, a lire, a thief, an adulterer, and so on. I just chose the drunken adulterer as an acceptable lifestyle but at the same time I was naive as to how Christ intended me to live. Now I am a new creation it is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. These thing I have done have been nailed to the cross and are reckoned dead.

I have never been given the opportunity to ask the GLBTQ community if homosexuality is just as sinful as being a drunkard. I ask this respectfully to anyone who is willing to help me to understand.

By: jrc

jrc — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:30:27 +0000

Hi David – thanks for your comments and regarding “..I would like to hear the questions a GLBTQ Christian would ask a heterosexual Christian who wants to listen”, from my perspective, it is usually the other way around- what are the questions that straight Christians have for GLBTQ Christians?
But anyway here’s one for you heteros:
If you understand that we are born this way then why isn’t it okay for us to
seek out love and live in a committed relationship – doesn’t that bring glory to God? If you do not understand that we are born this way – that’s a whole other problem.
Peace,

By: TDK

TDK — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:54:05 +0000

David, I can’t think of any questions because Anita is right, I have lived the heterosexual Christian perspective. I am glad that you are willing to listen, and learn, and perhaps ready to accept the GLBTQ community as they are. My suggestion would be to search your own heart and reflect on what messages you may have sent gay or lesbian friends. I know that I had a few people I had to go seek forgiveness from because I did the whole – I can’t condemn but I can’t condone thing, now I know how offensive that is. I also used the “clobber” passages without understanding them.

I don’t know what church you belong to, but if you follow Anita’s link to the reconciling network, you may become more aware of what you can do as a straight Christian by standing up for your gay brothers and sisters. That would be appreciated. Other than that, Anita said it all!

By: jrc

jrc — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:44:00 +0000

Hello All and thanks Anita – “When the lies escalate into the ridiculous, when the hypocrisy becomes all too apparent and opposing voices turn mean-spirited and cruel, a place in me rises up that wants to strike back. But I don’t. ”

I try to keep in mind what God whispers to me: “if you ‘lose it’, they win.
Peace to All

By: anita

anita — Mon, 11 May 2009 18:49:14 +0000

David –> My guess is that for many GLBTQ Christians, the desire isn’t necessarily to be embraced by conservative Christianity or any within the church who believe homosexuality to be a sin. If someone has arrived at that place through open-hearted, open-minded study of the Word and in prayer then I would never require them to abandon their convictions for mine. I think all we would hope for is the same rather than our sexuality being the “deal-breaker” to being considered one with Christ and united with the church. We’d also appreciate it if those Christians involved politically wouldn’t take their religious views on homosexuality into the public arena and use God’s name in their efforts to prevent us from full equality under the law in terms of marriage, adoption, and a host of other issues. I don’t know if others will have questions for you here since most of us lived a good portion of our lives from a heterosexual Christian perspective prior to coming out but their questions and your responses are more than welcome here with the understanding that it not lead to a debate on homosexuality. Otherwise I’m more than willing to open this post and comment section up to a respectful and Spirit-covered dialogue.

By: DMcGrinn

DMcGrinn — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:15:54 +0000

My name is David and I am a non-denominational Christ follower; I am also heterosexual. I can sense all of your pain, and the desire to be Christians who are embraced by the heterosexual community and not rejected. With that being said I would like to hear the questions a GLBTQ Christian would ask a heterosexual Christian who wants to listen.