I have such a problem with “ex-gay” anything, as I believe the entire concept to be false, fear-based loathing – either of oneself or of others. I understand taking people and their stories at face-value as theirs, but I still believe that folks go into “ex-gay” programs for the wrong reasons. Having the scars of past hurts, traumas and the like should most certainly be worked on/through, but in an honest, healthy environment that is scientifically and theologically sound. These “ex-gay” programs wrongly put the focus on one’s sexual orientation as the problem, when it is not a problem at all. Other issues are the problem; but in the desire for conformity, and a legalistic fear of God, people submit themselves to spiritual and emotional abuse by these programs and the people who run them. Also, and most unfortunately, some of the folks involved in working with these “programs” are self-identified as “ex-gay”, thus perpetuating a vicious cycle of lies and abuse. When will it stop? Why are some people so afraid of knowledge and understanding? of difference? of God?

I, too, was raised in a loving, caring home with parents and grandparents who loved me and never hurt me, thus I often feel so frustrated and sick to my stomach when this topic comes up. However, having spiritually nourishing places to go, such as this blog, does promote peace and calm. The more we gay people are out and open and resist the falsehoods, rubbish, and just evil, of “ex-gay” anything, the more the Truth of God’s wonderful, creative diversity will come to light and be set free.

Anita, it broke my heart. One of them said that I was a danger to small children, another told me to clean my house every time I thought of being with a woman — which I should probably do, it would be a lot cleaner. I too could not relate to any of the stories, I had been loved and cared for all of my life, bonded with my parents….and surely there were straight people that had the same life situations. It made no sense to me. I had no one to talk to yet, and I sat for a long time thinking that I was broken and needed to end my life. But God was faithful and I heard God once again telling me that I was okay. I found this website that night, after I told one of my other best friends. She wrapped her arms around me, and said “so?”

I too wish that the rhetoric that they spout would stop – even parents who are not that religious (mine) have heard and my mom asks the same question – did I do something wrong? I sincerely pray for social justice and the healing of God’s people.

Nice post.

I relate with it much being an g.e.g.g.a.l “gay, ex-gay, gay again lesbian”.

I look back now and what hurts me the most is the same as you have mentioned. The hurt it brings the parents and also the hurt that it brings those who are made to feel like they aren’t doing enough to remain “straight”.

If we would just allow people to explore and figure out who they are without fear of condemnation and within their own time, the world just might see greater glimpses of love and grace.

Thanks for this post. Many blessings to you.