FAQ

Whoa! I typed christianlesbians.com into my internet browser and ended up here! What’s going on?
Not to worry! You were redirected from christianlesbians.com because this is christianlesbians.com with a new look and a new name. You can enter christianlesbians.com, christianlesbians.org, sisterfriends-together.com, and sisterfriends-together.org, and they’ll all lead you right back here. Many roads, one destination!

So why the name change?
When the site began I was the only contact person for those women who visited the site and reached out for support through e-mail. For that reason I felt like it was best to limit the scope of the ministry to what I could address from my own experience as a Christian Lesbian and thus the name christianlesbians.com was born. As the years have passed and interactive features have been added to the website from mailing lists to the Community Forum, our ability to be a meaningful resource for a greater diversity of women has increased. Now as bisexual women, transwomen, or questioning women join us there are others already participating in our community who can relate to them at a personal level through their shared experiences. The welcome has become much wider as the community has grown and we feel that SisterFriends-Together is a big enough name to include us all!

Does this mean you’re going to dump the christianlesbians.com domain name?
No, not at all! We intend to keep the christianlesbians.com and christianlesbians.org domain names indefinitely so that anytime a woman runs a search using “christian” and “lesbian” she’s still going to be led to our open front door.

Now that the name thing is settled, who are you anyway and what is this all ministry all about?
Just click here or meander on up to the “About” tab and all your questions will be answered!

Who are the people involved with SisterFriends Together?
SisterFriends Together isn’t a big organization. We have no Board of Directors or three-color letter head with matching business cards. Well, okay, we’re working on the business cards but until then an ink pen and scratch paper will have to do. Homemade business cards aside, all we really need to keep this place running is one laptop and a table at any Starbucks within driving distance that offers wireless connectivity.

All that and an dedicated number of phenomenal women who are involved in the life of the SisterFriends Together community. Every time one of our members shares her faith and hope in God, offers a word of encouragement to someone else, or extends her commitment to hold another’s concerns in prayer, she’s actively living the mission of this ministry, and there are hundreds of women who are doing just that on a daily or weekly basis.

We’re simple in structure but great in number, and we know that the life we share in community came together at God’s prompting and has continued through the Spirit’s leading. Time and again in our encounters with each other here in community as in our daily lives, God shows up. Over the years as countless numbers of people have emailed witnessing to the hope and encouragement they’ve found here through the writings or in community with others, it’s become more than clear that none of this can be attributed to one person’s puny human efforts but to God’s purpose being lived out among us. This isn’t about playing the humility card. It’s about giving credit where credit is due.

Most Christian ministries have a written statement of faith. Where’s yours?
At this time we don’t have a written statement of faith. I’m not saying we never will, but at least for now I’m resistant to post a set of creeds that presume to represent everyone who comprises this community. It’s important to understand that among SisterFriends Together, as in the wider church, there exists great diversity within our perspectives of the Christian faith; a mixture of conservative evangelical Christians, progressive Christians, emerging Christians, liberal Christians and everything in between. For this reason, committing to one single statement of faith and presuming it speaks for all of us holds the potential to be less a point of unity than one of division. To gain a sense of the expanse of our Christian diversity, you might want to give a look at We Are SisterFriends.

The call of this ministry has never been to promote one particular Christian creed or doctrine but to create a place of full welcome for everyone where we can all feel safe to reflect in the company of others what our faith means to us, who God is to us, and how we are each called to live out our Christian faith within our own hearts and out into the world.

Now, if after all this you still require a statement of faith from SisterFriends Together, here it is.

SISTERFRIENDS TOGETHER OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF FAITH

1. You are fully, completely, and unconditionally loved by God.

I’m just curious, why is this ministry exclusively for women? What about Christian gay men like me?
Good question and a fair one. Over the years I’ve been in correspondence as a result of this website with a wide range of people including gay men, queer and questioning youth, parents of gay children, clergy searching for resources in providing pastoral care for a gay or lesbian congregational member, men whose wives have just come out to them as lesbian, straight friends and allies writing to encourage us in this ministry, and people from just about every faith tradition. While this ministry has a specific focus toward sexual minority women within the Christian tradition that doesn’t mean we only care about the concerns of one particular group.This is why everyone, male and female, gay and straight, Christian and agnostic, are welcome to read and engage actively on the SisterFriends Together blog. It’s open to everyone. Free of charge, no dues or fees.

The Community Forum is the only place where we restrict membership to women, not for the purpose of being exclusive but to provide a place that feels safe and understanding to the issues and concerns that are particular to women. The good news is we’re just one of many gay-affirming ministries or organizations online so there are other community opportunities available elsewhere on the internet open to both women and men such as those at Whosoever and Gay Christian Network. Both are remarkable ministries and I’d encourage you to give them the once and twice over.

I’m a straight Christian and admit that my views on homosexuality is that it’s a sin like any other sin. At the same time I still consider gay and lesbian Christians to be part of the family of God and have your blog set in my RSS feed so I can keep an eye on you folks!
By all means, keep an eye on us. We love the attention! At the same time, don’t just sit back and glare. We invite you to join in the conversation any time you feel so inclined. While the particulars of our lives might not be precisely the same as yours in terms of the details, in the end we’re all human, dealing with different versions of the same struggles and the same joys. Instead of becoming another online destination where interactions are limited to where we disagree, let’s share a commitment to engage in conversations and relationship that focuses on all that we share in common, beginning with our love for God and this exciting path called the Christian life.

I don’t see any blog comments that argue against homosexuality like I see elsewhere on the internet. Do you censor comments and if you do, isn’t that heavy-handed and dictatorial? Didn’t you just say SisterFriends Together was open to everyone?
Yes, the website is set to hold all comments until they’ve been approved. The only comments that are directly posted are by those individuals who have previously posted and have been determined to be trusted users. The purpose of SisterFriends Together has been clearly spelled out as a welcoming and safe place of encouragement and support for lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning women within the Christian tradition. That welcome extends beyond that to any and everyone who wants to participate in this community but the way to participate is through meaningful, thoughtful and respectful dialogue. We have no interest in debates that consist of absolute statements with no commitment to active listening. Not through posting long “cut and paste” counterpoints that somebody else wrote and you found somewhere else. Not by doing “hit and runs” with scripture passages from Romans 1 or I Corinthians or Leviticus 18. There are a myriad of places online where you can cut and paste and hit and run to your heart’s content, but this is not one of them.

Let me be clear. We’ve studied and reflected prayerfully on the issue of homosexuality within the context of Scripture and our Christian faith and I can assure you that no one has invested more time, effort, prayers and heart into doing so than those of us who have something personal at stake in the matter. The end result and a glorious one at that is the issue has been settled once and for all. We are Christian. We are lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning. We are loved, created, and celebrated by the God who gave us breath and keeps us breathing. If you were to take some time to look around you’ll see we’ve provided numerous writings on the Bible and Homosexuality and you’re free to read them but even these were primarily written for women searching to reconcile their own faith and sexuality and not as a defense to those with another biblical interpretation. While you might not be able to reconcile OUR sexuality and OUR faith, for those of us who have, it’s now time to move forward into living lives of faith as a whole and holy people.

In closing, as I have already said in far too many words, no comments will be approved that condemn homosexuality, demean another person’s life and relationships, appears hostile in tone, or dares to judge someone else’s relationship with Christ. Be assured, that the women who come here seeking hope, support, and Christian community have heard every angle of the debate more times than any one person can say it; from their pastor, their parents, their children and their church. They won’t hear it again here. This is one place where they can listen instead to another voice and perspective within the Christian church; a voice that affirms their life, their relationships, and their ministry. A voice that makes no apology for proclaiming the extravagant, limitless, all-consuming love of God for everyone and for all.