So what say we jump back into ordinary life with a little fun! I have two gifts to give away.

The first prize is a new copy of The Ragamuffin Gospel: Visual Edition. This isn’t the full text version but instead communicates the heart of Manning’s message through powerful graphics and images. It’s incredibly beautiful and inspiring and if don’t win the prize then just chick here and order a copy.

And since I’m going to be doing some upcoming blogging on “The Ragamuffin Gospel” if you haven’t yet read the original, then you can either click here to order a copy from Amazon or purchase it in e-book form here. I’m not a huge e-book fan because I love the rush of holding a book in my hands (don’t even get me started on the sweet smell of the paper) but the e-book is mighty fine for adding quick bookmarker notes.

The second prize is the new release of Sara Groves Christmas CD, “O Holy Night.” I just downloaded it from iTunes the other night and love it. It’s mostly classical Christmas Carols with a Sara twist. Mellow and awesome. Should you win you can choose to receive it as a CD through the mail or as a digital download.

And while you’re thinking Christmas I want to invite you to take a minute and enjoy the embedded video from Advent Conspiracy which is something I’m personally committing myself to participate in this coming Advent season; to worship fully, spend less, give more, and love all. That’s enough to keep us all busy until Christmas Day, don’t you think?

After the advent break I’ll tell you how you can win one of the two prizes, but for now, turn up your sound and enjoy.

Okay, I know you’re chomping at the bits to know what the contest is so without further adieu, all you need to do is come up with an original slogan for one of the signs in the photograph below. The slogan can be reflective of your faith. It can communicate a poignant, personal, or funny message. It just can’t be directed at any individual or group in a disrespect or mean-spirited manner. I’ll post all entries in the comments section and later this week I’ll select the top five (in my opinion) and then ask you all to vote on your top two choices which will determiner the winners.

Oh. Wait. I forgot to mention something.

The signs are not from a Prop 8 protest.

*The signs are from a demonstration where gay activists and their straight allies marched in a global effort to demand that M&M’s be licensed as the official candy of the international GLBTQ community, and so that’s what your entries should reflect.

In other words, have fun with this!!!

*This is a fictious storyline and any resemblance to actual events is merely a fantasy of your easily impressionable mind.

Okay, that was intense! Intensely wonderful, hopeful and exciting that is. While I haven’t yet seen an official count as to the number of folks who showed up at San Francisco City Hall this morning for Join the Impact, I’m going to make a guesstimate that it was in the vicinity of three kagillion. Aside from the license renewal line at DMV on a Monday morning I’ve never seen so many people in one place at one time! While people were there for the serious business of protesting discrimination and securing full equality it was, in typical gay fashion, quite the little party. Inspiring speeches, tasteful posters, adorable gay men, handsome young lesbians, and precious straight friends and family made for a fabulous crowd. While a few of the signs and tee-shirts communicated strong messages to the Mormon church, all in all it was a peaceful enthusiastic event and I was so glad, and overwhelmed, to be part of it.

To see more of my photos from the San Francisco Join the Impact click here or the image above. This is all for now. I’m off to read reports from the day on other blogs and on some newspaper online editions.

In case you haven’t heard, the Join the Impact rallies were held in more than 300 cities and involved as many as one million participants, and all of it was given birth by two young women, Amy Balliett and Willow Witte, who last week announced a national call to action to GLBTQ communities to peacefully protest Prop 8 and to fight for equal rights across the country. All because two women had an idea and took action. Imagine…

Why Should We Protest?

If we accept and acquiesce in the face of discrimination, we accept the responsibility ourselves. We should, therefore, protest openly everything that smacks of discrimination or slander. - Mary McLeod Bethune (educator and advisor to FDR on the problems of minority groups)

Gay and lesbian people have families, and their families should have legal protection, whether by marriage or civil union. A constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages is a form of gay bashing, and it would do nothing at all to protect traditional marriages. - Coretta Scott King (wife of MLKJ)

A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression. - Thomas Jefferson

How Should We Protest?

Be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love. - Gandhi

The prize reaffirms our conviction that with truth, courage and determination as our weapons, Tibet will be liberated. Our struggle must remain non-violent and free of hatred. - Dalai Lama

If you will protest courageously, and yet with dignity and Christian love, when the history books are written in future generations, the historians will have to pause and say, ‘There lived a great people - a black people - who injected new meaning and dignity into the veins of civilization.’ - Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on another. - Psalms 15

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. - Jesus

Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. - Jesus

As we protest tomorrow let us go in the love of God. Be a light in the dark and peace in the storm.  If we want to bring understanding where there’s ignorance and respectful dialogue where there’s been intolerant grandstanding then we have to treat others differently than we’ve been treated. Call no one bigot or hater. Do not shame or ridicule the faith or passions of another. Make no one our scapegoat. Shame no one. Return disrespect with dignity. Show love where there is hate. Declare the human worth of all people and the value of love wherever it may be found. Celebrate love. Celebrate relationship. Celebrate Equality.

Let love rule the day.

Be grace. Be grace. Be grace.

I know this is just about everywhere on the internet but for the one of you who may not have heard this coming Saturday, November 15, at 10:30 a.m. (PST) will be the mega-awesome Join the Impact event. Gays and lesbians along with just about every justice-loving soul who walks or rolls will be gathering at locations across the country to protest Prop 8 and every other pro-equality loss we’ve experienced historically as queer people. This is a chance to join with others in solidarity and be part of a bold collective voice calling for justice, equality, and respect for all people.

Come Saturday morning D and I will be standing in front of San Francisco City Hall with thousands of other sign-carrying folk and I wouldn’t miss being there for anything. I want to be part of the day not only because it’s going to be a significant moment in queer history but as a Christian I have this hope in the midst of all the speeches and shouting and cheering D and I might have the opportunity to extend grace and encouragement to someone in the crowd still grieving and pained by all that’s transpired in the past several weeks. In hopes that we could engage a few folks in conversation D and I will be wearing matching sweatshirts that carry the simple message “Christian, gay, and legally married!” and I’ll be working the crowd with a stack of SisterFriends Together notecards in my back pocket.

Several others of you have already said you’d be attending a Join the Impact protest in your area so would you consider joining with D and I at 10:30 a.m. PST for a 30-second prayer that God would help each of us be a place of grace in the middle of the crowds where we gather? If you’re not participating in a local Join the Impact would you consider pausing in the middle of your Saturday morning to pray grace for those of us who are from the West Coast to Florida and New York?  The Join the Impact organizors want the day to be a day committed to equality for all. Wouldn’t it be awesome to have it be a day committed to the grace of God for all too? I’m just saying.

I take it back.

Sorry.

In the two weeks prior to the election I participated in four visibility actions on various street corners near our home. On election day I stood 120 feet from a polling place located inside a church next door to our home for 10.5 hours. I suppose all together over those days I stood for a total of 25 hours. Some of those hours I stood alone. Other times I stood with anywhere from one to ninety others. That’s a lot of time to hold a sign and wave at passing cars. That’s a lot of time for private thoughts.

During those hours I thought about my relationship with D; how wildly crazy in love I am with her and how precious God is to me for bringing her into my life. I thought about how I would do anything and give anything to protect our marriage. I thought about the things I might say to someone on the other side of the issue if given the opportunity. I thought about how un-waterproof my waterproof jacket was proving to be in the pouring rain and how I should have chosen any shoes to wear but the shoes that were on my aching feet.

But more than any other thought was a question I couldn’t bear to answer and yet I couldn’t avoid thinking.

If I weren’t gay where would I be standing?

Imagine that instead of being a queer Christian, Anita was a straight conservative evangelical Christian who believed in traditional family values and the sin of homosexuality.

Since you’ve only known me as a mild-mannered chapstick lesbian with strange notions of God’s inclusive love and grace for all people, then it might be a stretch for you, but not for me because for the first 38 years of my life that was me.

Heterosexual Worldview. I grew up in a straight world. I wasn’t exposed to any other way of life; not in church or at school or on TV or in the neighborhood or in my home. I didn’t know that anywhere in the world there were boys who liked boys and girls who liked girls. Boys and girls became men and women who became husbands and wives, and so I just assumed when I grew up I’d marry a man like my father and be a wife like my mother, or become a lonely chaste spinster like my aunt. No other options existed in my world. I was straight to the bone. As far as I knew.

Traditional family. Mom. Dad. Two big brothers. One older sister. Dad left for the office every morning and came home after dark. Mom stayed home and cooked and cleaned and watched “General Hospital.” Dad was the head of the household. Mom ruled the roost. We visited my grandparents on Sunday afternoons and took family vacations with a station wagon filled with a back seat of cranky kids. “Mom, he touched me! I told him not to touch me!” “I did not touch you. I just touched the air around you like this.” “Mom, make him stop it!!!”

Evangelical Conservative Christian. Three times a week we went to church where everyone believed like we believed, thought like we thought and valued what we valued. The Bible was the infallible Word of God. Only Christians like us were really saved and I was sheltered from anything that was seen as threatening to the ideals of our faith. There was no dancing. There was no going to the movies. No listening to certain rock music. Time spent with non-Christian friends was limited, and all the more so if a bottle of wine or a can of beer was known to be kept in their refrigerator. Glancing at the horoscopes in the comic section of the newspaper opened the way to demon possession and eventually church-sponsored Fall Festivals replaced the candy void left when Halloween was deemed satanic.

That’s who I was and even though for last past twelve years I’ve seen the world through queer eyes I haven’t for a moment forgotten  how I understood the world when I identified as a straight evangelical conservative Christian. I clearly remember how I saw gay people and what I believed about the sin of homosexuality. I have no problem remembering the contrast of emotions between compassion for the person and disdain for their sin. None of that has escaped me and most certainly not when I wonder. . .

If I weren’t gay where would I be standing?

What answer would I like to give? Oh, I’d like to say that I would have stood on the side of equality because it’s the right thing to do, that I would have advocated for gays and lesbians because of the example of Christ who demonstrated time and again love and compassion for the marginalized and oppressed. I’d like to think I would have spoken up for fairness and for the defeat of Prop 8 because God calls me as a person of faith to “to do justice and love kindness,” and to actively “love my neighbor as myself.”

But I doubt any of that would have been proven out had I continued to live out my life as I had during the first 38 years. While I take some comfort in knowing I would never have stood on the street with a Yes on Prop 8 sign in my hand, scowling and shouting scriptures at anyone who dared challenge my views, I would have most certainly voted yes. I would have voted yes for all the reasons that straight evangelical Christians voted yes last Tuesday. I would have voted yes without malice. I would have voted yes because I would have sincerely believed it was the right thing to do for God and children and families and even for those on the other side; those lost in their sin homosexuals.

I have to be honest about all that because if I’m not then it becomes too easy for me to fall into bitterness and to lose my compassion for the neighbor who in this moment of history stands oppositional to my equality. Can I, right now, love the neighbor who voted against my marriage? Can I read the most despicable accusations of my queer brothers and sisters and find some place in me where I can tap into the love of God for the man or woman who said them? It took no effort at all for me to see Christ in the woman who stood beside me for two hours on election night holding a handmade sign that read “I’m a heterosexual, Republican, married, Catholic mother who voted ‘No on Prop 8′” but can I…no…am I willing to see Christ in the woman who hours before had stood beside me with her competing “Yes on Prop 8″ banner while angrily declaring my life a perversion? If I can’t then I’ve not only forgotten what it was like to view the world from another perspective but I’ve forgotten the grace of God that has been given to me. I’ve forgotten or maybe I’ve never fully understood that before God we are all absolutely equal; as equal in our sin and brokenness as we are in our goodness and glory.

I don’t love the one who does me harm because I’m righteous. If that were the case then I could barely love my neighbor, let alone my enemies. No. I have a chance to choose love because the grace of God allows me to accept that I’m a mess on wheels much of the time. I’m going to rage and wail against those who have done me wrong. I’m going to judge people and carry resentments long beyond their shelf life. I’ll be much too slow to forgive and far too stingy with compassion and this my dear friends is the magnificence of grace! I see all this within me and in my grittiest moment the gift of grace in Christ Jesus is more than enough to declare me as one unconditionally loved and cherished in the eyes of God. In the fleeting moments of my life when in the deepest recesses of my being I take hold of God’s grace for me, finding compassion and love for the most cruel adversary becomes possible.

No conflict will be resolved by name-calling or blanket stereotyping and equality will never be reached by making others the target of our rage and frustration but when we fall into God’s grace we’re freed even from our brokenness to participate in building bridges, changing hearts, healing the wounded, and being among those who give birth to equality for everyone.

I realize that right now when our passions are running so high it can be difficult to find that place of grace within us. It’s understandable that it would be a little hard to reach not only because of what’s happened but because everyday seems to hold something else that makes us doubt and despair over where this will all lead. If grace has slipped a little out of your reach can I offer a suggestion that might help you get hold on grace again? For every minute you spend in keeping up on the news related to Prop 8, spend an equal amount of time centering your heart on grace. Go to a spiritual practice that feeds your soul. Write or speak a prayer. Sing a hymn. Listen to music. Light a candle and as you sit quietly focus your thoughts on grace, grace, grace. Meditate on a passage from Galatians or a page from The Ragamuffin Gospel. Go for a leisurely walk and notice where God has showed up in creation. Call someone you love and remind them for no reason but for the sake of grace that you love them.

If I weren’t gay where would I be standing?

Maybe I don’t really know where I’d be standing in all this. I only hope that wherever it would be, it would be near to the heart of grace. That’s my greatest hope for all of us.

Keith Olbermann is my new boyfriend.

Tomorrow “The Ragamuffin Gospel” but for tonight, Keith Olbermann.

Exhale.

Breathe in.

Exhale.

There’s so much more I could say about California’s Prop 8. Oh baby! I could blog on and on about what’s happened and all that continues to unfold; the GLBTQ protest actions, the legal attempts to repeal Prop 8, and the continuing manueuvers by conservative groups on the other side to take this horror a step further and force the courts to invalidate the existing 18,000 marriages.  Do not even get me started on conservative Christian and political homophobia (a word I use cautiously and sparingly), the modern notion of traditional marriage, the blurred lines of separation between church and state, and the repeated failure of the majority to show compassion and equality for the minority, but for the time being I’m done chewing it over on this blog.

Just don’t be mistaken. I’m not over dealing with this in my personal life nor will I be until all people are treated equally under the law and all loving relationships are afforded the dignity and respect they deserve. No. I’m not over it by a long shot and I know you aren’t either. This cut deep into each one of us; those of us who are queer, our straight allies, and justice-minded people everywhere. So we continue on more actively than before to end discrimination, intolerance and inequality. And one day my friends it will come. One day.

I’m just done blogging about it. There are other bloggers and news sources that will continue to keep us informed, providing their angle on a queer perspective as events continue to play out on the streets, in churches, and in the courts. I hope you choose to stay informed because what happened last week in Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas, and what will continue to unfold in the coming months in California impacts us all wherever we live; both in the ripple effects that spread out to include every corner of the nation and world, but because what’s happening right now in a country or state far from your own home is touching directly on the lives of your brothers and sisters. This is one of those times in our history that remind us that however diverse and divided the queer community might be at times, there are bonds we share together as we move toward full equality for ourselves, for one another, and in turn for anyone who finds themselves pushed to the outside edge of society.

Here are a few blogs and news sources I keep an eye on:

• Good As You
• Queers United
• 365 Gay News
• Towleroad: A Site with Homosexual Tendencies
• Marriage Equality, USA

So if I’m not going to continue blogging on Prop 8, what will I ever blog about? How about God’s love? Grace? Compassion? How about this? How about spending some time looking together at Brennan Manning’s The Ragamuffin Gospel and seeing what it offers us in the way of insights and inspiration as Christians…and queer ones at that? I don’t know about you but after all the disappointment, hurt and frustration of the passage of four anti-gay measures I’m aching to fall into the peace, confidence, and hope that comes from being centered in Christ. I need that and I though maybe you might too.

So as you already know, here’s how it played out:

• In Arizona and Florida propositions to ban gay marriage passed.
• In Arkansas a proposition to bay gay couples from adoption passed.
• In California, though the final vote has yet to be called, it appears that Prop 8 has passed which will eliminate the existing fundamental right of gay and lesbian couples to marry.

Conservative religious voices are saying they prayed and fasted for God to protect marriage and family and the outcome witnesses to God being on their side in this holy battle to prevent homosexuality from sweeping across the nation unchecked.

Oooooookay. Let’s get some perspective here. We weren’t defeated because God was on their side. Have we not noticed yet that in the Old Testament God was always advocating on the side of the oppressed and in the New Testament Jesus spent the better part of his days hanging out with the marginalized, outcast, and those whom the self-righteous deemed unclean.

Honestly! There are days when I truly believe some Christians are reading another Bible than mine because the God that shows up in my Bible is the One that time and again without fail stands on the side of justice, love, fairness, grace, truth and compassion. Wait. I want to write those again. Justice. Love. Fairness. Grace. Truth. Compassion. Those are the virtues witnessed in word and action that lets you know God is in the house.

I’m reflecting on my encounters with people over the past month and I’m remembering the elderly couple who stood for two hours on the side walk with signs out of love for their gay daughter so she could have the same rights as their other children.  I’m remembering all the clergy and congregations that have been on the front lines in their support of marriage equality because they believe the Gospel of Jesus calls them to do so. I’m remembering the young mom who wept as she said how she and her husband wanted the world to be a better place for their children and that’s why they were volunteering their hours in the fight against Prop 8. I remember the supporters for No on Prop 8 I stood with in the rain and sun who never returned a single insult to the ones directed at them from passing cars. And I remember the woman who arrived last night to stand with me in front of the polling center with a sign that read “I am a heterosexual, married, Republican, Catholic, mom and I say NO on Prop 8.” Oh yeh, I’ve seen justice, love, fairness, grace, truth and compassion over the past weeks but often from unexpected places and from people who don’t claim to march under God’s directive or wear their religion on their sleeve.

And so it’s not a sign of God’s blessing on them or disapproval on us that injustice has again seemingly won again. Do yourself a favor. Take a breathe in. Exhale slowly. Take a breathe in. Exhale slowly. Now read this.

That the desires of the majority of the people are often for injustice and inhumanity against the minority is demonstrated by every page of the history of the whole world. - John Adams

Bing! Yesterday those who oppose gays and lesbians won in Florida, Arizona, Arkansas and California because that’s the way it’s always been. The majority has scant historical record of voting in favor of the minority because the majority likes retaining ownership of being the majority. They want to keep things the way they are; to hold onto their power, to prevent change, to keep their way of life closed to anyone but themselves. “Might does not make right,” and when it plays out might is often little more than a school yard bully who never learned to play nice or share his toys with others.

Do you need an example? Okay. How about inter-racial marriage? In 1959 when the California Supreme Court legalized it, only 4% of American approved. When the Federal Supreme Court legalized it nationwide in 1967, only 20% of American approved. It wasn’t until 1997 - that’s only eleven years ago! - that a true majority of 61% approved of inter-racial marriages. (Gallup Poll resource). If the Supreme Court hadn’t intervened and called inequality for what it was can you even begin to imagine how long it might have taken before inter-racial couples could have married? Would it have even happened by now?

That’s why the California Supreme Court did the right thing in May. They reached their conclusion based on the letter of the constitution that guarantees basic fundamental rights to all. Preventing gays and lesbians from the right to civil marriage was discriminatory and so the Supreme Court set things fair as they did in 1959 so that couples of different races, and now of the same gender, who were in love could marry. For now with the highly probable passage of Prop 8, majority rules again, but remember, that does not make majority right, not in terms of human rights and not in terms of the righteousness of God.

Oh and by the way. Let’s be clear. The difference between gays and lesbians keeping their right to marriage in California and having it taken from them is separated by just over 400,000 votes out of 10 million votes tallied as I blog. That’s not a sweeping victory for their side. They are only squeaking by. And it’s not over. Trust me on that. Better yet, trust God on that.

Final word? Here it is.

God created humanity to be in relationship with one another and when we are in relationship and love is there, God rejoices. Civil law may for a time prevent gays and lesbians from marrying. It may even temporarily remove legal marriage from those who currently have it, but no law can remove God’s blessing on your relationship or God’s great joy in you. Don’t you dare give anyone the power to take your assurance in God from you, assurance grounded not in circumstance or in the approval of others, but assurance anchored in faith; faith in the God of grace.

We’re going to be okay and justice will prevail.

Now, I need a nap.

Oh and one last thing. Here’s a old photo of D and I on our wedding day in 2002, and in this house we are just as married today as we were on that day and as we were on the day when a legal marriage license was placed in our hands. My wedding ring is still on my finger…I still have a beautiful, loving wife…and I still thank God for the life we share together before God.

.

Update: So the wheels of democracy continue to spin. If you have any interest in legal briefs (I know, I normally don’t either) this makes a fascinating read. This case was filed today with the California Supreme Court by the ACLU, Equality USA, and The National Center for Lesbian Rights on behalf of six gay California couples seeking their fundamental right to marriage, contesting Prop 8, and arguing against invalidating the 18,000 legal marriage licenses that have been issues to gay and lesbian couples since the Supreme Court’s ruling in May of this year.

To view the rest of my photos from some of the recent No on Prop visibility events I’ve attended just click on the waterlogged lesbian to your left.

Just a quick report on today’s event. It was located about a half mile from our house and so I walked there, arriving forty minutes early. No one else was there yet and so I stood alone at the traffic light at the end of the freeway overpass and held my sign high in the air. I’m not sure if cars honked because they’re voting NO on Prop 8 or because they simply took pity on how pathetic I must have appeared out there and gave me a mercy honk. I took them all gratefully whatever the reason. Yes, there were a few folks who felt compelled to roll their windows down and give a thumbs down or yell “YES on 8!” but I just smiled and waved at them enthusiastically like I was a big old goober. Far outnumbering them were the folks who honked and then flashed a big smile and a thumbs up, or took their hands off the window just long enough to clap for me. The support from drivers over the past few days has been uplifting but I’ll tell you, it’s kicked up to a whole other level of appreciation when you’re standing out there alone and they’re looking right at you in the eyes.

When the other volunteers started arriving, they showed up in droves! I did a quick count at one point and there were upwards of 80 people. We filled up all four corners of a major intersection and then spilled up and over onto the freeway overpass. Among the volunteers who stood in the rain waving signs were middle-aged straight couples, soccer moms with their kids, gay couples and single people of every age, and at least 30 teenagers who were, to say the least, enthusiastic! Jumping up and down, chanting “No to hate! No on 8!” and despite looking like a pack of wet puppies, seemed to be having a genuinely fun time that lifted everyone’s spirits and energized us all.

Listen, whatever happens here tomorrow with California’s Prop 8, Florida’s Amendment 2, Arizona’s Prop 102, or on any other challenges or setbacks we ever face as queers, don’t forget there are millions of people who stand with us. Contrary to how it might feel some days, everyone is not a chucklehead.

Tomorrow I’ll be working in front of one of the polling places from 7:00 a.m. through the end of the day. We have thousands of volunteers working at key polling locations throughout the state to try one last time to win more votes from the reported 3% undecided but also to be sure those who support equality for all vote correctly with a check mark next to the NO.

Oh, and this might be a rumor but I also heard there’s a presidential election taking place tomorrow too. Huh. What a coincidence.

In recent days every time I’ve ventured out into the general populace I smack a 3-inch No on Prop 8 sticker on my shirt. It wasn’t that I particularly wanted to wear the sticker today since I’m really not in the mood these days for smirks and glares but at the same time, I feel like I have to do anything and everything I can, even if it’s wearing a silly sticker.

First Conversation

The players: Two perfectly-styled, gorgeously-attired women in their mid-40’s. And me. Faded jeans, black crocs, periwinkle sweater and the previously mentioned sticker.

Woman 1: Standing in line in front of me turns slowly, noticing the No on Prop 8 sticker. I can’t believe how heated this issue is. I’m voting No on Prop 8 myself and I just can’t figure out why people are so crazy around this. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Me: I know. I can’t speak for others but I’d guess religious has to do a lot with the zealousness on the Yes side. As to the No side, speaking for no one but myself, the outcome will directly impact my spouse and I and so it’s incredibly personal.

Woman 2: Well, I’m sure it’s going to be defeated. It should be.

Me: From your mouth to God’s ears. If you haven’t voted early, please go to the polls tomorrow and vote. We need every single vote because we’re going to be going down to the wire on this one.

Woman 1: Don’t worry I’ll be there and I just know NO is going to win and I wish you all the best.

Second Conversation

The players: A classy-looking woman in her mid-60’s. And me. Faded jeans, black crocs, periwinkle sweater, the previously-mentioned sticker, and a stinging nose from the tears pushing at me from the last conversation.

She: Leaning toward me as though she was going to whisper but instead speaking in a voice loud enough for others around us to hear. Anyone who votes Yes on Prop 8 is just plain mean and hateful.

Me: It sure feels that way. I don’t really think they mean to be that way though. They’re just so driven in thinking this is all about defending their faith and don’t seem to be able to understand it has nothing to do with religion but has everything to do with fundamental rights for everyone.

She: Well, I’m not gay but I’ve been speaking up for gay rights for the past thirty years and I’m just tired of seeing such ignorance and hatred on the part of some people. It’s ridiculous.

Me: Thank you so much for your commitment to human rights. It means so much. You know, my roots are in evangelical Christianity and so I think in some ways I can understand what drives them, and unfortunately supporters of Yes on Prop 8 know too and so they’re focusing their advertising on heightening people’s existing misunderstandings about the issue and increasing their fear and determination to “protect marriage” from gay people.

She: Oh honestly. If these people care so much about marriage then they would be doing everything they could to support anyone who loves another person and encourage them to make a home and life together. It’s just mean. That’s all it is.

Me: Well, that’s sure how I feel. I’ve been with my partner for the first nine years of the rest of our lives and for us it’s all about commitment and loving each other. Hopefully we can defeat this and then as more and more gay marriages take place these folks who are so opposed to them can see their fears were unfounded.

There are many stories of encounters like this and whether Prop 8 passes or is defeated, we need to remember we aren’t alone now or in the future in seeking full equality under the law for ourselves, for each other, and for all those who will follow us.

Have I mentioned to my California readers, VOTE NO ON 8?! Oh. Okay. I just wanted to be sure.