Focus on the Family Declares Homosexuality A Good Thing!
May 3, 2008
I know. When pigs fly. But imagine just for the next four paragraphs that bacon has wings.
It’s five years in the future and the issue of homosexuality has been settled once and for all. Clergy, theologians and scholars from every denomination and faith tradition have come together agreeing without exception that there exists no biblical prohibition against homosexuality, but that in God’s creation there is a diversity within human sexuality. In response to their conclusions, they call all faith communities worldwide to a season of repentance and to begin the reconciliation process with their GLBTQ brothers and sisters. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and James Dobson hold a joint news conference that opens with the words “We were wrong,” and a televised live feed from the Vatican shows a contrite and tearful Pope nodding in affirmation.
Change happens quickly. There are no longer any GLBTQ denominational organizations or congregations proclaiming themselves to be gay-affirming because all denominations and every church is now fully welcoming to the lives, ministries, and relationships of GLBTQ people. Focus on the Family has finally begun to focus their ministry and resources on equipping and supporting all families. Pastors that had been publicly removed from their positions because of their sexuality return to the pulpit. Families once torn apart by the conflict over erroneous religious teaching and sexual orientation are restored in forgiveness and grace. The church begins as never before in history to live out the kingdom of God on earth where all people are fully loved, received, and cared for as God’s own beloved.
As other sectors of life and society witness the transformation unfolding among people of faith, policies and attitudes around the world change. Legal marriage and adoption are opened to same-sex couples. Gays wishing to serve in the military do so, responding to the Armed Forces new slogan, “Ask or tell, it’s no big deal.” GLBTQ people are represented positively in movies, print, and on TV. It’s finally revealed in a delightful one-hour special on the Disney Channel that Goofy and Pluto have been together for years and are the chosen godparents to Donald’s nephews Hewy, Dewy, and Lewy. National Coming Out Day is officially discontinued because all the closets have long since been emptied.
Your mom calls. “When is my favorite daughter and daughter-in-law coming over for a visit? We haven’t seen you two since your wedding day and we’d like to have a little get-together with our church friends and neighbors so they can meet the happy new couple! Oh, and your uncle Bob and his partner will be making their yummy guacamole!”
Imagine that was all true and that it all happened tomorrow. You stumble out of bed and drink your morning coffee in a brand new world where gay, straight, bisexual, and transgendered are all held as equal. Nice to think about huh? But here’s what I wonder. I wonder if that, all of that, would be enough to settle the question for you once and for all? Could you then stop doubting that God loves you as you are? Could you let go of that nagging question that makes you ask of God or yourself, “Am I okay? Is this alright? Am I wrong? What if I’m wrong?”
You know what? I don’t think so for the same reasons I sometimes question my own worth or why I’m truly surprised sometimes to look in the mirror and not see the 325 pound version of me as I wrote about yesterday. As a heavy child, a big teenager, and a morbidly obese adult in this world I took a lot of messages into my mind that didn’t automatically fall away with the lost weight. The name calling, the attempts and the failures at weight loss, the guilt and shame of people looking at me and believing they were judging me based on my body. Some of you might totally relate to the weight experience and for others it might be something completely different but for all of us, to one extent or another we deal regularly or rarely with the old messages that play in our minds and our hearts around our sexuality.
Up to the day we realized we were gay most of us heard little but negative messages around homosexuality from our families and in our churches. There was no question the Bible explicitly condemned homosexuality and for some of us, the church taught homosexuality was more than a sin but among the worst of all sins. We’ve heard our share of gay jokes and under-the-breath comments like “Look at that guy over there. What a fairy.” or “Geeze, is that a man or a woman?! What a queer!” The media is littered daily with stories on banning gays from the military, protecting the institution of marriage (and civilization as we know it) from homosexuals, or of another hate crime against a queer or transgendered youth. On TV Christian organizations raise millions by instilling fear in their Christian viewers with false stereotypes of gays and the threat of our non-existent gay agenda. All those messages have found their way, and continue to find their way into us, so that even if everything in the world changed tomorrow, all that clutter would still be there. That’s why it’s in our hearts and minds that the real change needs to come, to learn to separate the sound of old messages from the voice of God and to renew our minds so that the old messages are replaced with new ones that bring assurance instead of doubt.
What I’d like to do over the next few entries is look at alternate ways of understanding ourselves and our sexuality that goes against the voices that occasionally chatter in our heads, and that we begin by putting aside any messages that suggest our sexuality is sin or happenstance and that we receive it instead as a holy and unique calling of God; allowing ourselves to believe that being gay isn’t simply okay with God but that it’s by God’s design and for God’s purpose we’re GLBTQ people.
And yes, I promise. I’ll make every effort in the world to be more brief in my writing. I realize I’m breaking all the rules around good blogging with these ridiculously long posts so I’ll work on shorter ones. You’re being so patient with me!
Posted in Christian Lesbian Identity
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Forget the “blogging rules!” I LOVE your content!
May 3rd, 2008 at 10:02 pm
This is a tall order. I’ll be very glad to see how you explain this. Listening!
May 4th, 2008 at 2:08 am
WoW! what an amazing thought-for all our lives to be accepted and not judged-I guess if prayer can move mountains and this is one really BIG mountain, we better all get busy??? I can’t wait to see where you go with this, I would love to be able to find enough assurance that it crowds out the doubt. Like Deb said-I’ll be listening??? And don’t worry about the length, I enjoy coming here and reading and the longer your blog, the longer I get to hide in this “safe” little blogging world.
Have a Great Sunday
May 4th, 2008 at 10:38 am
If you’re breaking blogging rules, then Lord knows I’m a serial offender. (cereal offender? Talk about snap, crackle, and pop!)
Seriously (HA!) I am glad for your musings. Don’t ever abridge them out of feeling pressure. Like I tell my students who ask me how long their essays should be: write as long as it takes to make your point, but not a word longer.
May 4th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I didn’t know there were blogging rules!
I hope you keep breaking the rules Anita, whatever it takes!
This is all very incredible.
Thank you.
May 4th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Thank you. If anyone knows, you do, how desperately I would love to stop the internal struggle for good. I’m like a woman in a desert longing for a drop of water on my tongue. Okay that sounds desperate, but it truly is how I deeply feel in the core of my being. Desperate to have Him settle this within me. Maybe He never will, I don’t know. All that to say, I look forward to your coming blogs.
May 4th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Oh, geez! And I thought God had *finally* answered my prayer and set all the meanies to right! Well, it was nice to *think* it had happened! (LOL)
I think the acceptance is a hard one. As you’ve noted in your previous post, once you’ve come to have a certain belief system about yourself, trying to re-wire the thinking takes time. The beauty of God is that “God time” is not anything like our own. There’s no clock, no calendar, no day planner. There just “is”. And he waits for us, and keeps the messages coming that “You’re OK! I know the real you! And I love what I’m seeing!” And he’ll hang out patiently waiting for us to let go of the judgment.
Looking forward to more. And I don’t care how long the post is; if it’s written well, I’ll read it!
May 5th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Cindy–>I believe God can move mountains as long as we’re willing to show up with the earth movers and tractors. We have a lot of work ahead of us but much has already been done that we’re now called to build on. And the assurance will come Cindy because God is faithful and won’t rest until you do.
Joni–> I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling desperate about what you want when it concerns something so deep within you. What I appreciate about you and others Joni who continue to confront times of uncertainty is that it doesn’t keep you from living. I read your blog all the time and am deeply moved by the inspiration and witness of your words and your longing to be authentic which you’re doing one day at a time in a beautiful way. My thought for you would be to just continue on as you are, doing your part and trusting that God will do his.
Susan–>I know! I had a bit of a smirk on my face when the blog title ran through my head. Wouldn’t it be nice I thought and who of us can say it won’t ever happen? Troy Perry, the founder of the predominately GLBTQ Christian UFMCC denomination has said something to the effect that he lives for the day when every MCC church will be able to close their doors because there will no longer be any need for them. From our hearts to God’s ears! And yep, I hear God saying the same thing to us as you do….and that’s why we’re all blogging the message so others can hear it too
As always you all rock!
May 5th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I so needed to hear/read this tonight! I’ve been struggling lately with some of the old voices telling me that I’m not worthy of God’s love because I’m gay. Having recently come out to my sister and subsequently dealing with her negative reaction has brought all of this old stuff back to the surface and it’s proving to be quite difficult at times. Thank you so much for reminding all of us that we don’t have to listen to those voices anymore!
May 6th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I’m not sure I agree with the premises of your amazing vision of universal acceptance of homosexuality, although I appreciate the spirit behind it! And I was touched reading some of the comments, which have echoes with my own struggles over the years to come to terms with my bisexuality. I would like, if I may, to refer your readers to a post I’ve just written that very much deals with that subject: the fact that nothing, and certainly not our sexuality, can separate us from the love of God!
May 6th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
This is brilliant. What a mind you have! And what a heart.
May 6th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
John –> Dang Bro, I’ve been feasting my head and heart over at your blog for the past hour! I’m crazy thrilled to see such a strong presence for bi and trans people and am only too aware of the marginalization that exists in our own GLBTQ community (communities would be more accurate) toward bisexuals and those who are transgendered, which is why I all the more appreciate and applaud your strong voice as both and as a Christian. So John, I know my vision of universal acceptance is probably over the top but it’s qualified by it will be when God’s kingdom is fully revealed, so much of which is tragically hidden in the present. I just can’t seem to let my vision or hope be anything less than what should be the highest position goal. And hey, I love this that you said in your recent entry,
Can I just shout an Amen on that one! Thanks for stopping by John. I’ve added your blog to my blogroll and hope you keep blogging away and sharing your stuff.
John “Torch Boy” Shore –> You’re sweet and I love you and all the same that you said right back at you!
May 7th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Thanks for the vote of approval, Anita. I’ve felt a (little) bit like St. John (the Evangelist) in relation to my blog: a voice in the desert. Nice to find an oasis such as yours!