Gay is NOT the New Black
December 2, 2008
Read related article by clicking on cover image
It’s not.
Stop saying it. Stop writing it on poster signs. Stop chanting it. Please.
Yes, there are similarities in the civil rights movement and the gay rights movement. There are similarities in our struggle for equal rights and each group has historically dealt with discrimination, hate crimes, and intolerance. Blacks have been murdered for no reason other than the color of the skin. Gays and lesbians have been murdered for no reason other than loving someone of the same gender. Housing and employment has been denied to members of both groups. There’s no denying that there are many similarities and while our struggle for equality can learn and be enriched by the history of the black civil rights movement we do an injustice by blurring the lines by saying “Gay is the new black.” Gay is not the new black. Gay is gay and that alone is reason enough to pursue our fundamental rights without riding the back of another movement. The bigger picture in all this is that it’s not about civil rights for blacks or marriage equality for queers but human rights for all. Whatever the minority group to which we belong all are human and are to be treated fairly and equally under the law and that’s there’s where I believe our focus would best to directed.
Yes, gays and lesbians and God knows, our transgendered brothers and sisters have been discriminated against and suffered ridicule, intolerance and hate. Gays and lesbians committed to serving and protecting their country have been kicked out of the military for no reason other than their sexual orientation. Gays and lesbians have been denied the right to adopt children. Gays and lesbians have been denied the right to marry the person they love and to whom they’ve committed their lives. We’ve been fodder for homophobic jokes and the target of violence. Worldwide gays and lesbians have been imprisioned, beaten, whipped, fined, and executed for no reason other than being queer. As a sexual minority group there’s no denying we know oppression.
And still, I’m white. Pillysbury doughboy white. As a result of my doughy white skin tone no one in my family history endured slavery. No one in my family was beaten and lynched. No one denied an education, a job, or housing based on the color of their skin. My parents never had to sit in the back of the bus. They were never required to enter through a separate door, drink from a separate water fountain or refused a chair at a food counter. I’ve never been followed through a department store by a wary clerk who suspected that because of the color of my skin I might be more prone to shoplifting. I’ve never been pulled over by a police officer to be inquired as to why I was driving through a predominately white part of town.
When D and I go out in public we have the option to live our relationship openly by holding hands and calling each other “Honey” or to walk side by side and appear like nothing more than two friends spending the afternoon together. There are plenty of queers who for very understandable reasons remain closeted to avoid repercussions from family, friends, and their community. There are queers in other countries who remain closeted to save their very lives. Though D and I live openly as a lesbian couple, we have the option at anytime to conceal our minority status if we so choose and this is a luxury that people of color don’t possess. That alone, the ability to hide our sexual orientation or live openly is no small difference. Neither is it a small difference that a black youth confronting racism has a network of support among their black family members while a queer youth confronts homophobia not only in the world but all too often from their own family members.
We must acknowledge these differences along with the similarities in our conversations. The suffering and struggles of each individual and group is unique onto itself and we do something to minimize the hardships of another when we constantly compare it to our own. Let each stand on their own for the unique journey each has traveled, the pain endured and the victories won. Our experiences may intersect at points and be similar but they are not the same and I think we need to watch the language we use in our march forward for full equality. Besides, let’s not kid ourselves that because an African-American has been elected as our next President that racism is behind us. That’s a journey that still has miles and miles to go.
A Foot Note of Sorts: Everyone has something to say on this issue. I’ve seen people of every skin color holding up protest signs reading “Gay is the new Black!” I’ve read articles and editorials from white and African-American journalists alike that reject or accept the comparison across racial lines. I’m just speaking for me, one person who lives each day from a place of white privilege while experiencing inequality as a gay woman. My opinion and I’m sticking with it.
Posted in News and Events
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:01 pm
When I got this in my mail box, I thought that this was absolutely offensive, not to me but to those blacks who have and still fight intolerance. I immediately canceled my subscription as I thought it was insensitive.
This was a wonderful response to that cover, you should send to the advocate.
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I couldn’t agree with your opinion more Anita.
Yes. Stop saying that.
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Thank you. Your writing is a thoughtful response to this analogy that has been taken too far. Preach on.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
i have wondered about this since it began appearing. finally somebody spoke up. the same? not at all. as you so eloquently put it, anita, i can choose what i appear to be on the outside. right or wrong, i have the choice. not everyone does. prejudice is prejudice, and it delves deeper from there in many directions. i face prejudice because i’m an alcoholic…..i can hide that on the outside, but it’s still a fact. i face prejudice because i’m a woman. that’s a fact i can’t hide. do i want somebody saying that as an alcoholic i should have certain rights because of women’s suffrage? hell, no. thanks for another interesting topic.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I absolutely agree with you, Anita! 100%! Well said, and time someone said so!
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Thanks everyone. I know others are saying the same things I posted and that you’ve expressed in your comments. There’s no question there’s a wide range of opinions on this topic (as on every topic) among GLBTQ communities and every opinion should be part of our conversation and what others outside our community are hearing from us. One voice never speaks for all of us and so speaking the truth of our individual convictions is vitally important as we move forward toward equality.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:10 am
i would add that the statement implies that gay people are white, or that sexuality and race are distinct or even mutually exclusive categories. for some queer people of color, gay is the old black.
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Interestingly enough, as there is a good deal of Russian on one side of the family and a bit of New Orleans Creole on the other side, my ancestors have been subject to slavery, both in the Russian empire and in the U$A. And while I now live in a part of the U$A where things are different, I have been refused service at a restaurant, denied employment, and denied housing, both for my sexual orientation and my religious beliefs. I moved away from where I was born due to persecution, and I think you need to realize that this is still the case for many, many Americans.
I would say though, even after this, that gay is NOT the new black. I don’t know of any gays that would vote to take away the rights of blacks….
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Anita: thank you so much for your thoughtful response to this whole issue! (Pun intended.)
I’m white, too – but growing up, I was very aware of the Civil Rights movement and basically cringe every time I see people evoking it as a 1:1 comparison. It’s just not and never has been. I know it makes for a snappy slogan, but… gah!!!
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Anonymous–> Agreed. I’d also add that if comparisons are to be drawn between the two (race/sexuality) it would best be left to those included in both minority groups to name. As a white woman I don’t see how there’s any place for me to make those comparisons except in the most broad overarching ways.
Dennis —> Admittedly, my views and perspectives are limited to what I have personally experienced or observed and so I appreciate very much you telling how it is for you and in the areas of the country where you live.
et2c—>Oh we do love our snappy slogans! I’m sure you remember like me the television images of African-Americans being forced against buildings while being blasted with fire hoses. Those are the first memories I have from my childhood of “colored people” and I remember watching and not understanding any of it. I also remember wanting to cry when MLKJ stood at the Lincoln Memorial and gave his speech “I Have a Dream.” I was seven and again I didn’t understand it. After a lifetime of listening to stories and reading the history of the civil rights movement, I still have a lot to learn but I understand enough to know it’s not the same. I also know it doesn’t have to be the same for the pain to be just as real and the inequality just as wrong.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Anita, my guess is that you’d say that the two struggles are analogous, which is how I see it. I think some of that perspective comes from my having grown up in a partly Jewish neighborhood, where my friends’ and schoolmates’ parents (and their parents before them) had gone through a lot of difficulties due to prejudice. Was that similar to what black people were going through? Yes. But definitely not the same, for all kinds of reasons.
As for the fire hoses and the church bombing in Montgomery and all the rest, I remember being flabbergasted by the way white people were treating black people – to the point that someone would actually blow up a Sunday school and kill *kids.* (I was a kid; I went to Sunday school, and the girls who died were about the same ages as my two older brothers… it just didn’t make sense, then or now.) I have an awful lot to learn, too, but in some ways, people like MLK Jr. were heroes to me when I was in grade school. (Not sure how I came to that conclusion, but nevertheless, it happened.)
I think it’s always a stretch for us humans to put ourselves in another person’s shoes, especially when we’ve characterized them as “The Other” and kept ourselves apart from them. Your blog – and others like it – have been helping me make that transition. (I still have a long way to go, but at least the process has started, for which I thank God!)
December 5th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
so thoughtful a posting. just saw ‘milk’ and found my mind thinking so much of the civil rights movement. anyway, i agree with you mucho!
December 6th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
OMG, thank you, thank you, thank you. I could not have said this better myself. I need your permission to copy this and put it on my various sites. As an Afirican American lesbian immigrant I was really pissed at seeing the references made about black and being gay, As an AA lesbian I can hide my sexuality, and for the most part people don’t know I am gay but for the life of me I can’t hide the fact that I am female, black and an immigrant.
And thank you for making the point that not because there is an AA President in the White House (how ironic) that all AA woes are gone NO THEY ARE NOT. I have subscribe to your feed and look forward to more wonderful pieces from you.
Peace Out!!!
December 7th, 2008 at 7:50 am
et2c–> Yes. Analogous definitely since the methods of discrimination and intolerance don’t manifest themselves all that originally, meaning by and large it follows the same kind of patterns in how it plays out. I don’t know if you’d agree but I think far more people have been at the receiving end of discrimination of some kind in their life than have not. Sometimes it’s been mild and short-lived and other times relentless and constant. Ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, class, religion, being obesity, physical ability, and the list goes on and while most of us have experienced it at some level, we continue to live in a world that keeps doing it to “the other du jour.” MLKJ was definitely a larger than life hero to me as well as was Ghandi when I first learned about him. Such was and remains the power of their message.
Amy–> I wanna see Milk! We just haven’t had a chance yet. Oh and by the way, Elvis arrived in the mail yesterday
Sueann–> Thank you for commenting on my post and of course you can distribute it. My take on all this is that while most people see the civil rights movement and the gay rights movement as analogous (thank you et2c), most are either incredibly uncomfortable or disapproving of having it expressed by the “gay is the new black” slogan. There are a whole range of implications in those words that are simply wrong. That the slogan popped up on a few signs at protests was one thing since there were a few other catchy phrases showing up that made me equally cringe but when it was plastered on the cover of the “The Advocate” I was appalled. Whatever their intent (to generate publicity and increase sales I would imagine) it was totally inappropriate. Anyway, I’m glad you found my blog and took the time to enter in to the conversation. Welcome!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
I don’t know if you’d agree but I think far more people have been at the receiving end of discrimination of some kind in their life than have not. Sometimes it’s been mild and short-lived and other times relentless and constant. Ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, class, religion, being obesity, physical ability, and the list goes on and while most of us have experienced it at some level, we continue to live in a world that keeps doing it to “the other du jour.”
I think it’s safe to say that we’re in complete agreement on this, anita. And certainly, what sueann said above fits right in. I’d definitely add “immigrant” and “not a native speaker of English” to this list – and I’m sure I could think of more things. Those two spring to mind mainly because of the immigrant ESL students that I’ve known…. They all get it coming and going, no matter where they’re from. (Equally true of those who speak fluent English but have what’s perceived as “difficult” accents – usually meaning any non-US accent, period.)
But I’d better not get on the soapbox about that, or else I’d end up doing a total threadjack.
December 9th, 2008 at 6:28 am
I feel incredibly uncomfortable when I read Annie’s comment, as it seems she’s almost equating alcoholism with being lesbian/gay. I understand she may be trying to make the comparison of something that can be hidden from something outwardly physical (skin color or sometimes gender), but I think it’s a potentially damaging comparison. One could certainly point out that no one is born an alcoholic, but as more and more people testify, and as more and more science shows, those of us with a gay/lesbian orientation ARE born (read:created) that way.
While I do agree at a basic level that “gay is not the new black” I do think many of the struggles we face are similar (surely not all, but many), and that this may be a great time to revisit the idea that “faith is the evidence of things unseen” and realize that just because we gay people can hide doesn’t mean we should. Hiding is denying who God created us to be, and while I know that sometimes hiding means physical survival, those of us who are able to come out and speak the Truth have a responsibility to do just that. We are all human – inside and out – and simply because others can’t “see” the inside where our orientations etc. reside, doesn’t make it okay to discriminate against us.
December 9th, 2008 at 8:59 am
Laura —> I think Annie’s comparison of alcoholism to homosexuality drives home the point about the dangers of comparing being gay to being black. Both have similarities and yet are very different, so we run the risk in comparing that there will be confusion in what we’re implying. Annie’s primary point as I understood it was that being an alcoholic and being gay are both things that can conceivably be hidden. I agree with that, just as equally as I would agree that people that fall under either category are stigmatized in our society. On the other hand, we’re all very aware that some who oppose homosexuality argue that both alcoholism and homosexuality are a disease/addiction. Like you, I obviously don’t agree with that and that might be why any comparison between the two causes discomfort.
I couldn’t agree with you more as to there being similar struggles faced in the civil rights movement and in the gay rights movement. Discrimination is discrimination though it comes in varying degrees. And all the rest you said, you said so well!
December 9th, 2008 at 9:43 am
I understand the attempt at comparison; I just think it’s a dangerous and deceptive comparison. Boiled down, Alcoholism=damage and Homosexuality=simple innate orientation (which often is manifested as Love).
Taking the alcoholism approach to comparison, we might say then that an undisclosed murderer would equal a person with a homosexual orientation. Or that a spousal abuser equals a homosexual person. All of these things can be hidden, but they are most certainly not equal. Thus, we could also say that an alcoholic = heterosexual. One can certainly choose to hide any orientation.
December 9th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Laura–>You won’t get any arguments from me on what you’re saying. For this very reason, by what Annie’s comparison brought up in a response, I think it’s valuable to see that for a large percentage of African-American people the comparison between being gay and being black is just as appalling to them, particularly among those who hold the belief that homosexuality is a sin or a choice. All the discomfort, irritation and frustration we might feel with the alcoholism/homosexuality comparison is at my best guess similar to the ire they feel in the black/gay comparison. The problem with any comparison between two different things is that at some point every analogy drawn between them breaks down and so we need to weigh the risk against the benefit of using them; whether that be homosexuality/alcoholism, black/gay, ad infinitum.
December 10th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Agreed.
The only thing I really still have issues with is that, while I do understand what you wrote about the possible reasons some African Americans are irate at the gay/black comparison, I STILL think it’s really, really different than a gay/alcoholic comparison. One can (initially) choose to drink or not, but all people are born with their own orientation – some het, some gay, some in between. There are those who do maintain that being gay is a choice, but they are clearly ignoring the testimony of many, many folks as well as the latest scientific knowledge. Putting one’s head in the sand is, however, a choice.
I do think we should think very carefully before making any comparison, but oftentimes comparisons are what get people to understand the common thread that runs through all discrimination.
December 10th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
OK I admit it – I only just now read the Advocate piece. Now I’m wondering if everyone else commenting here did too. There seems to be a lot of anger about the cover, but the article actually says the things many folks here are saying. See my copied excerpt:
“We gave into another post-election temptation too. Many drew a simple parallel between our struggle and the black civil rights movement. Signs at protests said, “I have a dream too,” “Welcome to Selma,” and “Gay is the new black.”
There’s something to this, but it’s dangerous territory, and we have to be careful not to lose our bearings here. Gay is the new black in only one meaningful way. At present we are the most socially acceptable targets for the kind of casual hatred that American society once approved for habitual use against black people. Gay is the dark pit where our society lets people throw their fears about what’s wrong with the world. (Many people, needless to say, still direct this kind of hatred toward black people too. But it’s more commonly OK to caricature and demean us in politics and the media in ways from which blacks are now largely exempt.) The comparison becomes useful, though, in forcing us to consider the differences between our civil rights struggle and theirs.
Except in a few statistically insignificant cases (the gay kid who happens to be the child of gay parents), being gay begins with recognizing your difference from the people with whom you have your earliest, most intimate relationships. As such, it’s an essentially isolating experience and therefore breeds in many gay people certain qualities — such as independence and perfectionism — that can undermine our ability to cooperate and compromise with others. Though some of us were lucky enough to find role models, mentors, or gay friends early in life, we weren’t born into the kind of beloved community that the African-American church aspires to be. Today, the church is still the strongest black American institution, and though it is far from a perfect place, for its members it’s a cradle of love and shelter from oppression.
Our oppression, by and large, is nowhere near as extreme as blacks’, and we insult them when we make facile comparisons between our plights. Gay people have more resources than blacks had in the 1960s. We are embedded in the power structures of every institution of this society. While it is illegal in this country to fire an African-American without cause and in most places it’s still legal to fire a gay person for being gay, we are more likely to have informal means of recourse than black people have. Almost all gay people have the choice of passing. Very few black people have that option. Of course, we shouldn’t have to make that choice, and our civil rights struggle is about making sure that we don’t have to.
On a deeper level, though, the gay civil rights struggle is about preventing discrimination based on our proclivity to love, as distinct from the messier foundation of racial discrimination, which primarily has to do with protecting white privilege and wealth. No one would deny that fear of mixed marriages significantly inhibited the progress of the black civil rights movement. (Blacks won employment and voting rights a full three years before the Supreme Court finally struck down miscegenation laws in 1967.) But love and sex were not, as is the case with gay civil rights, unambiguously the heart of the matter. This is the reason our progress has been slow: Love cannot be understood in the abstract. You cannot understand it until it touches you or you find your way into its orbit. ” ~excerpt from Advocate article.
Soooo, I think the cover was to get people’s attention (which is what mag covers are supposed to do), but the key is reading the article, which clearly says that the gay/black comparison is not a complete comparison by any means.
December 10th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Laura–> I appreciated all you said here and hope folks take the time to read through your contribution. Just to be clear, I most definitely read the Advocate article and agreed with much of what was said in it. Despite the intention of drawing interest and readership with the cover (after all, the Advocate is a for-profit company) I still seriously question the appropriateness of the cover. I would have probably felt much more comfortable with the question “Is Gay the New Black?” which would have left the statement open, rather than the declaration statement “Gay is the New Black” which suggests a closed one. Either way, if it’s engaging people in conversations about racism and homophobia, the civil rights movement, the gay rights movement, and equality in general, then it would seem to be a win.
December 11th, 2008 at 6:27 am
Anita: Thanks for your response. I do agree that a “?” on the end of the statement would have been more appropriate, and also, I believe, still grabbed readers attention. As it is, I hope you are correct (and based on the dialog here, it certainly seems so!) that it is engaging lots of folks in meaningful dialog so we can keep moving, however slowly, forward.
December 12th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Laura–>So appreciate all you’ve added to this topic!