Gifted by Otherness: 6 of 6

June 12, 2008

We bring the church a unique perspective as insiders now on the margin.

The denomination I spent the first 40 years of my life in was the Foursquare Church. It use to go by the name the International Church of the Foursquare Gospel but apparently they’re going more streamlined these days. That’s Foursquare as in Jesus Christ Savior, Healer, Baptizer, and Soon Coming King. Foursquare as in I was born Foursquare, raised Foursquare and when I die I’ll go to that Foursquare city in the sky. Foursquare forever, turn back never. Okay. I’ll spare you the rest though I have a million of them.

So here are the facts. I went to a Foursquare church. I spent my summer’s at Foursquare camp. I graduated from a Foursquare Bible college, and I was a licensed Foursquare minister who served a Foursquare congregation for nearly 15 years. My family was then as they are now members of that denomination and our family name is known by many within the denomination because of the faithfulness of my grandparents and parents. What all this means is that for the first half of my life I was a member of the Foursquare club. I was an insider; a member of the Foursquare family.

Some of you might have a story similar to mine and only need to replace Foursquare with Assemblies of God, Church of Christ, Calvary Chapel, Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, Lutheran or Nazarene to make it your own. You grew up in the church, went through its Sunday School program and was active in the youth group. You did the summer church camp thing and the week in Mexico to help build a church thing. You might have ministered in the church as a pastor or a member of the congregation; served on the church board, led the music during worship time, or set up the tables for the after-church potluck. You knew everyone in the church and they knew you. You were part of a church family and they were your friends. And then you came out and left the church because trying to stay would have been too painful for you and too unwelcomed by everyone else. You went from being an insider to an outsider, from included to excluded. We’ve made the dramatic and painful move from being located in the center of church life to a status living on the margin, and this is where the gift comes in.

We who were once in the church and have come out as GLBTQ share “the experience of being both insider and outsider, friend and stranger, member of the family and exile” (Marilyn Frye). What this means is that we’ve stood on both sides and so we bring insights to the church and a voice into the conversation that few others have to offer; but the most significant part of this whole thing is that when we speak we can do so with compassion and understanding. I’m going to say more about this if for no other reason than I always have more to say about….okay….about everything.

When I was an insider in the church, I said “Amen” when the church said “Amen.” I shared the same theological viewpoint and that included understanding homosexuality as sin. As sin I considered it destructive to the person who was caught in it and because I saw them as lost and hurting in their sin I felt only compassion and concern for them. My attitude and actions toward gay people was shaped out of the convictions of my faith as I had been taught and so on the few occasions when I talked with a gay person, my intention was never to reject or hurt them but to bring the truth to them in love. Really.

Today when I talk with Christians who oppose homosexuality I remember all that. I remember what I believed, why I believed it, and how genuine my compassion and true it was when I said, “I’m only telling you this in love.” Yes, there are some in the church who are harshly judgmental and mean-spirited; contemporary Pharisees who appear more motivated by being right than on extending love; Christian leaders and religious institutions that use the debate on homosexuality for their own agenda, for financial gain or to secure political/religious power. Having been insiders we who are Christian understand that these louder voices coming from the church, don’t represent everyone in the church. They don’t even represent all those who oppose homosexuality because they certainly didn’t speak for us when we were insiders. As former insiders know this but many GLBTQ people don’t anymore than many Christians don’t know the reality of queer lives

And this is the gift of standing where we now stand. To both the GLBTQ communities and to the church we can bring the insights and understanding we’ve had in belonging to both and when we participate in the conversation we can speak compassionately in both directions and just as importantly, compassionately listen. Our gift as GLBTQ Christians; as friends who are now strangers and exiles who were once family members is to build a bridge of understanding that will flow from the sanctuary of every church to the meeting room of every GLBTQ Community Center, and from the heart of every Christian to the heart of every queer and back again.

If this post has been of interest you might want to check out these two related earlier posts:
(Both examine the topic of insider/outsider in relation to conservative/liberal Christianity)

You Want Me to Love Them?

How Inclusive Are We?

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Posted in Gifted by Otherness, Special Series