Joy In the Midst of Pain
August 4, 2010
I apologize for not following up on yesterday’s post as I promised but my plans to spend the day hunkered down in front of my computer blogging didn’t go as planned. Instead I spent the day doing the most important thing I could ever do; being a helpmate and support to my beloved. Her mom’s cancer has now advanced to the stage that we met today with several health care professionals to begin the process of preparing her to move from nursing care to a nearby hospice home soon where she’ll spend the remaining days of her life. While it’s obviously difficult to know her death is drawing close we’re also grateful knowing her last days will be spent in a beautiful place surrounded not only by her family but by a staff of dedicated and skilled people committed to her comfort. There’s such a sense of relief in knowing her journey into God’s loving hands will be gentle and that compassion and love will be with her each step of the way.
Sitting at her bedside this afternoon, we told her about the decision Judge Vaughn Walker handed down today in California that found against Prop 8. She immediately smiled at hearing the news and said what a wonderful time we live in, that her children were alive to see the day when gay and lesbian couples were finally able to marry. What a joy it was to look at this dear woman and say “And you’re alive to see this day arrive too. No one will ever again tell your daughter and I that our love doesn’t matter and our marriage isn’t real.” Her response through the nausea and pain? “I’m so happy.”
So are we Mom. So are we.
Anita, D, and D’s Mom on our wedding day, April 6, 2002.
You can read Judge Walker’s decision here. There’s also an excellent summation of the central findings in this post on Queerty.
Posted in Marriage, News and Events
Sweet Hope Cookies
August 4th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Anita, Rarely do I have the opportunity to read your blog…I’m glad I did today…I will be praying for D and her mom, you and all involved in these days of passage. I remember those days so well with my own mom and dad….makes my heart hurt. And D’s mom looks so very young….and so very much like D. Hugs
August 4th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Your title says it all. I’m so sorry for the pain and so grateful that some joy has come.
Hugs, love and blessings to you both.
August 4th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
God bless you all.
August 4th, 2010 at 11:42 pm
That is sad and yet sweet. I only wish my relationship had worked out and had been so open and loving and kind as yours Anita and D and mom. I am praying for all of you and will always pray and thank God that in amongst the termoil and sadness God shows a ray of light and sunshine to come through.
August 5th, 2010 at 2:59 am
Anita and Dana,
I am saddened to hear that D’s Mom is going to hospice, but know that it’s the best place at this time. I will continue to cover her, both of you and the rest of your family, as you go through this very difficult time.
I remember spending time holding Grandparents and other family as well as friends when they were in the final days and how humble it made me. The one thing for which we can all be thankful is that she has beautiful daughters such as you and Dana to help her through this.
Congratulations on having your marriage recognized as nothing less than real also!!!Jan and I had our holy union on May 15, 2004 and we live in SC so we will be waiting a while. Marriage will have to be made legal by the US Government for every state and for every state to recognize it in order for us to get married.
So as I wait I am so thankful that you all and the others in states where it is legal have that right that prayerfully will never be taken away.
Blessings to you both and to all others whose marriages are now recognized for what they truly are.
Blessings and peace,
Bev
August 5th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
I feel for you both! K’s Mom passed away just about two years ago and Hospice was So very wonderful and helpful and gave peace to all!
Am so glad your MOM knows about the Prop. 8 decision!
God Bless you all at this difficult time and please know you’re in our prayers!
August 5th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Wow! What a powerful, beautiful, spirit-filled moment with D’s mom and both of you. Many blessings to you and your family as you journey with D’s mom to her end. May this coming time be filled with more moments like the one you all got to share with her.
Peace.
August 6th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
My deepest love & prayers for you & D, and her Mom at this time. Walked through this with my Mom, two yrs ago……it was indeed most precious, despite facing the inevitable. Christ’s tender love soothe all your hearts in the days ahead!