Comments on: Lesbian Relationships: Postscript to Preparing for Love

By: mgsorensen

mgsorensen — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 02:24:44 +0000

Wow, I love reading this wisdom! It is definitely coming at the right time for me. Thank you

By: shar

shar — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:50:37 +0000

Bethann – I am a pastor too and have only learned this about myself in the past year but itis truly the only peace I have ever had – the problem is I am married too. Its comforting to know there is another pastor, i thought I was alone.

By: beth ann

beth ann — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 04:02:11 +0000

i am a pastor who will probably be going through the same as you – rejection by friends, family, and my church which will mean i’ll lose my calling, my home, and my ordination. i do have a woman i’m attracted to but we are going slow. what advice do you have?

By: jrc

jrc — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:26:20 +0000

Hey Anita – I believe that through this recent series that I am beginning to understand/calm down.
“We slog through all the laborious work of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth so that we can live in to and out of God’s great plan for our lives, and God has no greater plan for your life than that you would grow fully into who you are. You do realize don’t you, that you’re the only person God created who possesses the ability to live out life fully as you? No one else can bring who you are to the world but you and all God desires is that you live out your life in wholeness, health, and love…as the most complete and quintessential you.
That’s the most important task before you. Being you. Not finding her.”

Yes, with God’s help, I am working through some things in my life. God will guide me on what I need to do and where I need to be.
Even though I believe that God will give me a soulmate, I am not worried or overly anxious about it.
He is leading me in what I need to do and who I need to be for Him and that is all that matters.
Peace.

By: anita

anita — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:31:15 +0000

Kim–>I hear you. I don’t think we ever fully arrive at some perfect state of singleness without still having waves of desire and loneliness to share our lives with another. It seems as humans we’re built for that. To your question, I don’t know why we meet our spouses when we least expect it unless maybe in our looking, we miss seeing what’s really there for us. I dunno. That’s my best guess for a Monday afternoon.

By: Kim

Kim — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:28:48 +0000

I agree with you Anita! I have one beef though! Why is it that people meet their spouses when they are not expecting it?

I sometimes reach this ‘nirvana’ point, but to be honest, sometimes I feel like I’m pretending that I’m happily single.
I keep chanting ‘I am happy single’ like a mantra to myself and my friends to try and convince myself that this is true. I list out all the advantages – freedom to do this, that etc
Also I’ve avoided influences that may stir up these desires- so no love stories at all – romantic books, magazines, films (which kind of drastically narrows the field for a film ‘buff’ like me)
But even this doesn’t work as I can’t isolate myself completely from seeing and interracting with couples who hold hands, kiss, praise and affirm each other!

I just find it really hard!

By: anita

anita — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 07:32:58 +0000

GW–>Thank you for adding your twist! Your story offers an entirely different perspective on the topic and I really appreciate that because I would imagine your experience echoes that of others as well. I wouldn’t want anyone to think there’s only one way to look at this and your example witnesses powerfully to a journey that’s been really wonderful for the two of you to travel together. How inspiring!

By: GW

GW — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 06:51:57 +0000

Anita, I completely agree with all you have said on the topic. However, I will add a twist. It is while being in the midst of a relationship and “struggling” with her that I finally found the courage to explore a part of me that I have tried to squelch for so long. Being in this relationship has pushed me to explore more of who I am and I have been fortunate to have someone walk with me in this. In a sense we are navigating this together. Instead of going through healing separate from this kind of intimacy, it is the intimacy (along with the therapy) that is bringing about the healing I have needed. The journey is still in the early stages, but I am so incredibly thankful to have a wonderful woman to walk with.

Thanks for sharing all of your wisdom and insight. Always an encouragement!

By: anita

anita — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 05:23:12 +0000

Deb (the other one) –> Which by the way, cracks me up…the other one. Anyway, here’s a little secret I’ve learned that I share now with only you. Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you get the thing you need rather than the thing you want what you needed was really what you wanted but you just didn’t know it before you got it? Say what?

Jones–> You’re welcome Jones. Really. I continue to be amazed that what feels so personal to me can connect with others and in the same way how others personal journey’s can touch me at the deepest part of myself. The whole human connection is fairly awesome that way. So glad you’re finding healing from brokenness and yes, it’s a long process but once you get through it you really find yourself standing in awe of God’s grace at a whole other level. At least that’s how it was for me and I pray for you too.

By: Jones

Jones — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:48:22 +0000

Isn’t that the truth…it’s in finding ourselves first that we find someone to share our life with. I had come from a place of brokenness after a disastrous long-term affair and the healing was taking place as I gingerly stepped forward and ever so slightly, tapped on the church door.

The healing continues as wholeness has begun to take the place of brokenness but it’s a long process. It’s wonderful to have sisters in Christ to walk the journey with and lean on in times of needing support.

I so appreciate your ministry and what you share from your heart and your life. It always hits home and speaks peace into my life so once again thank you Anita.