Love Breaks All Boxes
September 10, 2008
On Saturday evening our friends Heather and Denise were married…again. D and I are ahead of them by one with a wedding count of 3 to 2 but who’s counting? I mean it’s not as if it’s a competition though if it were, we would obviously be the winners!
Anyway, though the girls did not request, much to my surprise, that D and I sing a duet version of Capt’n and Tenille’s poignant love ballad, “Muskrat Love” at their ceremony, they did ask that I prepare a children’s talk to present to their nieces and nephews. While Denise and Heather are aunties to all the children, the nature of their relationship had never really been explained to the kids and so they wanted something included in the ceremony for the children. While I don’t remember exactly what I said since most days I don’t remember where I parked my car when leaving the grocery store, this is a sketchy facsimile.
With four or five children seated on the floor around me I placed a large gift box, wrapped in silver and white wedding paper and tied up with shimmery silver ribbons and bows on the floor between us. I pointed out all the wedding things that were visible from where we sat; the flowers, the candles, the special musicians, the robed pastor, the wedding cake, and a church filled with friends and family. As I talked about all the usual things that are normally part of a wedding, I’d run my hand along the sides and across the top of the wedding present.
“I don’t know about you but I’ve noticed that there’s one thing missing and that’s a bridegroom. Huh. Have most of the weddings you’ve been to had a bride and a bridegroom? Sure, but at this wedding there’s a bride……and well look at that, another bride. Denise and Heather are the brides and this is their wedding.”
I spent a couple minutes talking about Denise and Heather and then with my attention turned back to the wedding present, my hand still tracing around the sides, I continued.
“Here we are today, gathered to celebrate Heather and Denise’s wedding and their love for one another, but there are other people in the world who have come up with all sorts of ideas for what makes a wedding a wedding and nothing else will do. It’s like they take their ideas and build boxes for them and it becomes really hard for them to make room in their boxes for ideas that aren’t like their ideas. They think those ideas won’t fit and so they keep their box closed tight. ‘Two brides at a wedding,’ they say. ‘Oh no, that will never do! That’s not a real wedding!’”
As I continued talking to the kids, I began to slowly slip the ribbons off the box, and slower still began to lift the lid….
“But here’s the amazing thing that people sometimes forget and others just don’t know…”
As the lid of the box was removed a heart-shaped helium balloon burst out, floating up 12 feet tethered to the inside of the box by a long ribbon.
“Love can never be held inside a box. Love always breaks the boxes people make, because love is too big and too wonderful and too powerful to be kept inside a box, and so sometimes a man will love a woman and a woman will love a man, and other times a man will love a man or a woman will love a woman.”
As I continued I’d occasionally pull the string so that the balloon would begin to come down and then I’d release it again to float back up to the ceiling.
“Do you know why love is like that? I think it’s because the Bible tells us that ‘Love is from God and God is love,’ and how could God ever be kept in a box or the love God has for us or the love God fills us with for another person? And so today we say thank you God for love so big that no box can hold it. Love that always bursts our boxes wide open!”
Before sending them back to their seats I gave each of the children a transculent plastic box filled with little candies and told them that because the boxes were stuffed so full of candy it would be impossible for them to open them without a little candy spilling out and that when that happened I wanted them to remember how love can’t be kept in a box without spilling out all over. It might be messy but it’s a good messy!
Posted in Love and Grace, Marriage, Storytelling
September 10th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I love the image of the balloon. Very, very true. And every time we try to box God in, God slips out of the box. And the love will spread, and everybody who wants some gets to have some.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
“I think it’s because the Bible tells us that ‘Love is from God and God is love,’ and how could God ever be kept in a box or the love God has for us or the love God fills us with for another person? And so today we say thank you God for love so big that no box can hold it. Love that always bursts our boxes wide open!”
Wow! Well done Anita. Now if more adults could just grasp this beautiful concept. Love can not be contained because it’s creator can not be contained. Ain’t no box big enough for God.
September 10th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
September 10th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Why do you always make me cry?
September 11th, 2008 at 3:29 am
This is just beautiful…….
September 11th, 2008 at 3:52 am
What a wonderful way to explain it all to kids. I bet the adults also got the chance to learn a thing or two. Wonderful ! ! !
September 11th, 2008 at 6:48 am
A friend of mine wrote this in his church’s mission statement and it seems reasonable to share it here with his permission. He has recently had a great revelation.
“The Gospel really is “not what you think.” It’s counter-intuitive. What do we mean, counter-intuitive? We naturally think that God loves us because we attempt to keep His laws, like a parent who approves of a child when he or she gets good grades. So we migrate between the poles of trying hard to keep His Law in order win his favor, or completely giving up thinking we can never meet the demands of His Law. It often never occurs to us that the purpose of God’s law is to reveal our total inability to keep it in order to get us to gaze in wonder and amazement upon the beauty of Christ who kept it for us. In other words, some people think they more or less succeed in their attempts so they become good pretenders and excellent judges. Others are too honest to beguile themselves with such nonsense and settle into some pattern of disregard for God’s law thinking they can never keep it anyway. But the good news is, there is another way. It is the Gospel way. The Gospel way says that God loves us not because of what we do or don’t do but because of what Christ has done. In other words, when the truth that Christ kept the law for you dawns in your soul it gives you a whole new motivation and ability to please God. The old way results in polarization between those who think God loves them because they’ve done a pretty good job at keeping his requirements and those who give up the struggle for holiness and throw in the towel and affirm God loves us anyway.”
September 11th, 2008 at 10:44 am
thank you, anita. love it, love it!
September 11th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Gang–> Thank you! I love that you love the illustration I did with the kids. I’m a big visual learner myself so it comes easy (and fun) for me to find ways to provide concrete ways for the children to understand or at least be introduced to conceptional ideals.
DragonLady–>Why do I always make you cry?? If I do, I have a sneaking suspicion making you cry might not be such a hard thing to do. Nothing like a dyke who’s a softie. And I love the excerpt you provided from the mission statement above. Several of the sentences struck me particularly and will be included in the post that I’m just preparing to write….as soon as I finish clearing out my mailboxes.
September 12th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Mz Anita
Can I help it if God gave me a tender heart?
I guess I can because I did pray for His heart to be transplanted in me. Mine was full of bitterness and shame but He gave me a new heart that could love.
My friend has read your blog and hasn’t wanted to post but maybe he will if you use his quotes. He is the pastor of a church that is trying to reclaim the neighorhood and rebuild the kind of relationships within that used to be common before people got too busy to care about each other. Not bad for a pointy headed red necked preacher man who could easily go the way of Grizzly Adams if he didn’t have the call from God and a wife and kids to support.
September 12th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Girlfriend–> I LOVE a tender heart and I trust you know I was being playful with you…from one mush ball to another. All the more beautiful when a tender heart has come from God’s transformative healing touch. I’m so glad you shared that part and how God has brought you to where you are. And of course, your pastor would be more than welcome here. I really did find his words meaningful.
September 12th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I know Anita. I was teasing too.
September 13th, 2008 at 7:43 am
I was at our youth pastors wedding last night. What a wonderful wedding. As I sat in the back looking at Gods match coming together, I was a little sad. I have never had success in finding a match for me. This morning as I was making coffee, I looked at my life and my two boys and I see I need to see the marriage I have with them through adoption. Perhaps I need to be satisfied with what God has given me instead of wanting a better present. I am wondering if my pastor would have a ceremony for my adopted son and the one I plan to adopt in March.
I am going to ask! Thanks again Anita.
Shawn