Comments on: My Little Gay Obsession http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/ An online community sharing our lives and faith within a place of grace Thu, 22 Dec 2011 05:29:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-14809 anita Wed, 30 Dec 2009 22:27:20 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-14809 Deb-->I'm so glad you stepped forward to let your presence be known! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into what's been going on for you. It really is okay you know, to be focused on this one area of your life right now. It's only natural for any of us (people in general) to become a little obsessive when something in our life demands our attention. Ever try to concentrate on what someone is saying after you've just whacked your funny bone? Anyway, I totally get the feeling that it's "growing old" even for you but maybe the attention needs to be here right now because it's making up for the years you might have forced any thoughts of it into the background. This is just a time of balancing things out and it will pass so that you can take in all of life instead of having it all filter through one lens, that being your sexual orientation by whatever label feels more comfortable to you. I'm sorry for your loneliness Deb and hope as you move into this year you gather a wider circle of support and friendship and in time meet someone to share your life and love with. As the saying goes, if it happened for me, there's no reason it can't happen for you too. Just keep your heart and eyes open and continue to work on developing your own sense of self-worth in who you are and in who God has made you to be and all the rest will come to past in God's time....which is usually much better timing than our own :) As the New Year ushers in tomorrow Debbie, your name will be one of those I mention in prayer. Blessings, Anita Deb–>I’m so glad you stepped forward to let your presence be known! Thank you for sharing a glimpse into what’s been going on for you. It really is okay you know, to be focused on this one area of your life right now. It’s only natural for any of us (people in general) to become a little obsessive when something in our life demands our attention. Ever try to concentrate on what someone is saying after you’ve just whacked your funny bone? Anyway, I totally get the feeling that it’s “growing old” even for you but maybe the attention needs to be here right now because it’s making up for the years you might have forced any thoughts of it into the background. This is just a time of balancing things out and it will pass so that you can take in all of life instead of having it all filter through one lens, that being your sexual orientation by whatever label feels more comfortable to you. I’m sorry for your loneliness Deb and hope as you move into this year you gather a wider circle of support and friendship and in time meet someone to share your life and love with. As the saying goes, if it happened for me, there’s no reason it can’t happen for you too. Just keep your heart and eyes open and continue to work on developing your own sense of self-worth in who you are and in who God has made you to be and all the rest will come to past in God’s time….which is usually much better timing than our own :) As the New Year ushers in tomorrow Debbie, your name will be one of those I mention in prayer. Blessings, Anita

]]> By: Debbie G http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-14770 Debbie G Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:01:50 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-14770 Hi Anita, I have been lurking on this site for months but I feel compelled to respond to this since its exactly where I am right now. I suppose I would have to label myself as bisexual if labels are required since I have been with and been attracted to men. However I would say that I lean toward the lesbian side because those relationships never fulfilled me and I have come to realize that the reason for that is that I am more suited emotionally to love another woman. That longing has many manifestations, physical and emotional that I have suppressed since I was 10 and first realized what was "wrong" with me. I just came out to my parents and my dad, who is also gay or bisexual or whatever, has been great. My mom is trying but its hard since she has always understood me and now its like I'm from another planet or something. There are others I will never tell and would be disowned by if I did. My problem right now is that this is all I can think about. Its gay this and lesbian that all day every day and its getting old. Its this intense desire to belong I guess and since I've always felt so different I'm trying to find my niche where I can fit in. I have enjoyed reading your posts and I hope to one day have what you have with D. I feel so lonely and for so long I have been ashamed of myself and who I am and it has kept me from experiencing God's love. You have helped me begin to realize that I am loved the way I am but I have a long way to go. Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks. Debbie Hi Anita, I have been lurking on this site for months but I feel compelled to respond to this since its exactly where I am right now. I suppose I would have to label myself as bisexual if labels are required since I have been with and been attracted to men. However I would say that I lean toward the lesbian side because those relationships never fulfilled me and I have come to realize that the reason for that is that I am more suited emotionally to love another woman. That longing has many manifestations, physical and emotional that I have suppressed since I was 10 and first realized what was “wrong” with me. I just came out to my parents and my dad, who is also gay or bisexual or whatever, has been great. My mom is trying but its hard since she has always understood me and now its like I’m from another planet or something. There are others I will never tell and would be disowned by if I did. My problem right now is that this is all I can think about. Its gay this and lesbian that all day every day and its getting old. Its this intense desire to belong I guess and since I’ve always felt so different I’m trying to find my niche where I can fit in. I have enjoyed reading your posts and I hope to one day have what you have with D. I feel so lonely and for so long I have been ashamed of myself and who I am and it has kept me from experiencing God’s love. You have helped me begin to realize that I am loved the way I am but I have a long way to go. Please keep me in your prayers. Thanks.
Debbie

]]> By: Ali http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-11173 Ali Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:48:53 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-11173 I can relate to a lot of what you said here. Check out my blog sometime, I would love comments if you have any droppingfigleaves.wordpress.com ~Ali I can relate to a lot of what you said here. Check out my blog sometime, I would love comments if you have any

droppingfigleaves.wordpress.com

~Ali

]]> By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10936 anita Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:38:11 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10936 Catherine---> One of the most wonderful parts of sharing our stories and thoughts online is that we end up finding how common our experiences are and that we aren't alone in what we're feeling or thinking. Catherine—> One of the most wonderful parts of sharing our stories and thoughts online is that we end up finding how common our experiences are and that we aren’t alone in what we’re feeling or thinking.

]]> By: John Shore http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10933 John Shore Sat, 05 Sep 2009 22:47:02 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10933 Beautiful. Beautiful.

]]> By: Catherine http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10917 Catherine Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:32:23 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10917 the part about being gay obsessed - so true! It's amazing to feel like I have this kindred spirit on the other end of an internet connection. :) Guess we're all a lot more similar than we think! the part about being gay obsessed – so true! It’s amazing to feel like I have this kindred spirit on the other end of an internet connection. :)

Guess we’re all a lot more similar than we think!

]]> By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10799 anita Thu, 03 Sep 2009 16:56:36 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10799 Mask --> There are always events, people, and situations, both painful and joyful, that take their turn at being foremost in our mind and priorities but the cycle of life is such that everything ends up fading to a lesser position at some point and is usually replaced by the next BIG thing. Boy, the inbetween place is absolutely the hardest place to be but as you said, things will work out. It's just holding on until they do. Though I don't know you, I just want you to know in reading your comment how incredibly grateful I am that in light of what happened to you, you not only survived but didn't incur more extensive injuries...though I would imagine the emotional toil of living through something like that must be more than enough to deal with. Blessings, Anita Mask –> There are always events, people, and situations, both painful and joyful, that take their turn at being foremost in our mind and priorities but the cycle of life is such that everything ends up fading to a lesser position at some point and is usually replaced by the next BIG thing. Boy, the inbetween place is absolutely the hardest place to be but as you said, things will work out. It’s just holding on until they do. Though I don’t know you, I just want you to know in reading your comment how incredibly grateful I am that in light of what happened to you, you not only survived but didn’t incur more extensive injuries…though I would imagine the emotional toil of living through something like that must be more than enough to deal with. Blessings, Anita

]]> By: Mask Of A Blind Man http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10647 Mask Of A Blind Man Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:43:41 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10647 I can definitely relate to this. I'm still in the closet, and its something that I think about every day from the minute I get up to the minute I fall asleep. I also was in a car accident in April (drunk driver hit me twice and totaled my car) and found out last week that I might be needing knee surgery which is also something that I cant get off of my mind. I know that in time things will work themselves out but the in between part really sucks. I can definitely relate to this. I’m still in the closet, and its something that I think about every day from the minute I get up to the minute I fall asleep. I also was in a car accident in April (drunk driver hit me twice and totaled my car) and found out last week that I might be needing knee surgery which is also something that I cant get off of my mind. I know that in time things will work themselves out but the in between part really sucks.

]]> By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10640 anita Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:41:39 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10640 Bev--> I think you're right, that there are many who understand my story because in part it's theirs too. While I will most likely refer to my surgeries here as they lead me to speak about other things, I will share more of the details and day to day matters over on my personal website at anitasblog.com. I've been slow in blogging over there in recent days while I wait for my web designer to get the new site in place. I spoke with her today and she believes it will be ready during the early part of next week and once it's up I'll be focusing my posts over there on a whole bunch of things of interest to me.....weight loss, reconstructive surgery and healing, health, fitness, recipes, photography, travel, living in the Bay Area, etc. I'm getting pretty excited to get things moving over there and will be letting everyone know when it becomes active. Your own weight loss is truly inspiring Bev, especially in light of the health issues that must increase the difficulty and yet at the same time give you added motivation to get as healthy as you can. Congratulations on what you've already accomplished and hurray for where you're headed! And...no....our skin at our age seldom shrinks back. For three years I've been working out at the gym three days a week with that the specific goal in mind of tightening the lose areas only to hear from my physician as well as the plastic surgeon that after so much excess weight for so long and at my age, my skin has essentially lost its elasticity and the only way to lose it was to have it removed. Anyway Bev, you know me well enough to know that if I think sharing details will help or connect with others then I'll do it and at the same time, if there's something I don't mention and you have questions, be sure to ask them over on the other blog in the comments and I'll answer them as best I'm able. Blessings, Anita Bev–> I think you’re right, that there are many who understand my story because in part it’s theirs too. While I will most likely refer to my surgeries here as they lead me to speak about other things, I will share more of the details and day to day matters over on my personal website at anitasblog.com. I’ve been slow in blogging over there in recent days while I wait for my web designer to get the new site in place. I spoke with her today and she believes it will be ready during the early part of next week and once it’s up I’ll be focusing my posts over there on a whole bunch of things of interest to me…..weight loss, reconstructive surgery and healing, health, fitness, recipes, photography, travel, living in the Bay Area, etc. I’m getting pretty excited to get things moving over there and will be letting everyone know when it becomes active.

Your own weight loss is truly inspiring Bev, especially in light of the health issues that must increase the difficulty and yet at the same time give you added motivation to get as healthy as you can. Congratulations on what you’ve already accomplished and hurray for where you’re headed!

And…no….our skin at our age seldom shrinks back. For three years I’ve been working out at the gym three days a week with that the specific goal in mind of tightening the lose areas only to hear from my physician as well as the plastic surgeon that after so much excess weight for so long and at my age, my skin has essentially lost its elasticity and the only way to lose it was to have it removed.

Anyway Bev, you know me well enough to know that if I think sharing details will help or connect with others then I’ll do it and at the same time, if there’s something I don’t mention and you have questions, be sure to ask them over on the other blog in the comments and I’ll answer them as best I’m able.

Blessings,
Anita

]]> By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/my-little-gay-obsession/comment-page-1/#comment-10639 anita Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:31:58 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=3940#comment-10639 TDK --> Thank you so much for being open to my sharing these recent days and experiences in my life with everyone. One of the benefits of being "obsessed" with it at this time is that I've seen so many ways in which my weight-loss / surgery journey has been like a living analogy of what the coming out journey is like, and it's driven many of those observations down even deeper within me. If something from this flesh and blood experience has inspired anyone then that only makes any discomfort all the more worth it on my end. It's so inspiring to read of your process in coming out and of course, entering into a relationship with another woman will most definitely take it into a whole other realm! I think what you'll find as the years move along is that as gay people our lives are a continual process of coming out to others. Were our skin purple it would be understood but as it is each new person in our life requires that in time we speak what is true of ourselves and with each coming out we risk rejection but we also open ourselves to having the circle of love widen around us. In my heart, that seems a risk worth taking every time. As to sharing my life, it's my privilege and it's also a matter of doing nothing more than paying it forward since so many people have shared their lives openly with me. Blessings, Anita :) TDK –> Thank you so much for being open to my sharing these recent days and experiences in my life with everyone. One of the benefits of being “obsessed” with it at this time is that I’ve seen so many ways in which my weight-loss / surgery journey has been like a living analogy of what the coming out journey is like, and it’s driven many of those observations down even deeper within me. If something from this flesh and blood experience has inspired anyone then that only makes any discomfort all the more worth it on my end. It’s so inspiring to read of your process in coming out and of course, entering into a relationship with another woman will most definitely take it into a whole other realm! I think what you’ll find as the years move along is that as gay people our lives are a continual process of coming out to others. Were our skin purple it would be understood but as it is each new person in our life requires that in time we speak what is true of ourselves and with each coming out we risk rejection but we also open ourselves to having the circle of love widen around us. In my heart, that seems a risk worth taking every time. As to sharing my life, it’s my privilege and it’s also a matter of doing nothing more than paying it forward since so many people have shared their lives openly with me. Blessings, Anita :)

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