Your giving, your service and your faith have changed my life, and I thank God for you.

As always my prayers of support and best wishes for you and D! And a definite “Ya’ll keep it up!” from down here in the South!!! Thank you!

Normality…what a concept.

I am not normal, nor was I made to be
This human shell which covers, the living, breathing me
Shows whoever watches, the inner workings of
Insanity, defiantly, multiplied by love

My wishes sometimes go, beyond my crazy self
To have a normal life…friends, family, health
Would seem to be a goal, one would wish to have
To be piece of a whole, or even just a half

Of what our modern culture, deems to be okay
To open up my mouth and scream that “I am gay!”
Would that make any difference, would anybody see?
What it means, how it feels, to act-ually be me?

I tried hard to conform, to standards set before me
I sacrificed, I hid my self, ignored and cursed my feelings
And yet they never changed, if only they would have…
To not have had to tell, my family…mom…and dad

“Hey, guess what? I am gay.” And hope that they would not
Be like all the others and live as they’ve been taught
To ostracize the different, to illuminate the truth
By spotlighting the darkness, and showing them the proof

That who they are is wrong, that how they feel is sin
That in order to be loved, they just have to give in
To what the Bible “says,” no matter what it meant
At the time when it was written, before it was in print

You must obey the word, the living sword of God
Don’t look too close at what, the author’s intent was
Take it as it is, and we’ll take you as you are
As long as you don’t live it out, or take our grace too far

If grace can go too far, how can it really be?
The free gift of God, for everyone, for me?
To love without condition, to live without remorse
To not just fall in line, is to carve out my own course

And live as I was born, to be JUST AS I AM
A child of God, loved, forgiven,
To just be simply…
Pam

Susan –> What you wrote makes perfect sense! I totally understand the mix of joy and fear in returning back to service. In taking that step you’re really making yourself vulnerable to being hurt again and so it takes a tremendous amount of courage to do it anyway. I’m thankful to read that you’re being welcomed back and I pray you come to know healing from the past as a result. Faith in God, not people. Such a hard lesson to learn but one that I would guess that has been driven home for most of us in coming out as queer and Christian. A hard and painful lesson but what a liberating one!

Joni–> I said nothing in this post that you haven’t already been coming to learn as you travel this path with God. Everything that you received as from the Lord before that affirmed your life and ministry, that spoke encouragement to your heart, that lifted your faith, continues to be just as true and applicable to this day. And shame on any and all who dare to speak words that break the human spirit and cause them to question their place in the arms and grace of God. The door is unlocked Joni, and all that waits if for us to do is enter through….though I suspect you already are even if you aren’t yet fully aware that you’ve crossed over the threshold.

DL–> I loved the story you shared in the forum on Cynthia and your early encounters with the assurance of God’s love that was given to you.

e2tc–> Sigh. In a way I wish queers didn’t have company in being wounded by the church. As I wrote this post it was with thoughts of those I know who’ve been devastated by the church and barred from ministry and fellowship for reasons that had nothing to do with their sexual orientation. In my own life, my greatest pain from the church and which caused me to resign from full-time pastoral ministry had nothing to do with my sexuality. I’m so sorry for the pain of your experience whatever the details and I encourage you to continue to make the journey back to being engaged with the church, not out of obligation but out of desire. Thank you for sharing what you did. I know you speak for many.

Katherine—> I loved reading about how the song I posted here being the song your Mom hummed. I apologize for presuming on God but I wouldn’t be surprised if God played a wee part in such a coincidence.

Ric–> If that day is indeed waiting for you in the future Ric while it might well come at a cost, it will also be something you never regret doing. Extending grace and compassion, proclaiming justice, and pushing the boundaries out to include “the other” despite the predictable resistance by some will rock your world in awesome ways. You go Bro.

Wendy–>There are indeed others. So many who’ve paid a price. People who had nothing personal at stake in that they weren’t queer or whoever “the other” was that they were advocating for, but itwas personal in that justice and mercy are a key feature of God’s call to every believer. They act because of faithfulness to God more than a desire to be an activist or a “trouble-maker.” I could only hope that I would and will step forward to advocate for others who are oppressed even when the other doesn’t look like me.

Bruce –> First things first. Thank you for the message of Bold Grace. You’re doing a fantastic work over there! The whole idea of the “institutional” church is a bit odd when you consider the life of Jesus. Surely he didn’t walk on the earth thinking the end result of his mission was for the establishment of an organized religion and church with its polity, divisions and doctrines. Jesus, as I see him in the Gospels, came to change individual lives and then empower each of them to share the Good News that they had received with others. That all those who had been touched by his life could come together in community and continue to share and live the Good News without bogging themselves and the Gospel down with human constraints is an incredible idea but as it turned out, even the early Church, a few years removed from Jesus couldn’t do it at times. So when I say I’ve given up on the church, I have. On the corporate, institutional, political conglomerate church, but not on the universal church which is comprised of many churches; those being The Church of Bruce, The Church of Anita, The Church of Ric, and on and on. We are the church. Each of us. That’s where the Gospel lives. Thanks for posting here Bruce.

Just be a voice of compassion, hint at inclusion, or extend the grace of God without judgment and watch the fall out.

Such a day is waiting for me. “Lurking in my future” might be the more apt metaphor.

Thank you for posting this Anita. I need to add these artists to my shopping list.

That was 6 years ago. Now I’m finally beginning to feel a deep desire for engagement in a church, but not because I feel like I “have to.” It’s because I long for real connection with other Christians, and with God himself, in a way that can only happen through engagement in a church.

At this point, I’m exploring my options, albeit with a bit of fear and trembling.