Three Sisters Speak. Preach it Women!

March 15, 2010

I know that there are a number of you who follow this blog through various subscriptions which means SisterFriends comes to you via email or RSS feed rather than you coming to SisterFriends. As someone who regularly follows more than 100 blogs myself I appreciate the convenience of doing it that way but it comes with the downside that while we’re notified as to any new posts that are added by the blogger we miss the opportunity to read comments that have been contributed by readers, and when it comes to SisterFriends I think there’s where some of the most meaningful content is found as each of you share powerfully and honestly from your own experiences and faith journey.

For that reason, I’m posting just three of the most recent reader comments that have been added to SisterFriends so that their wisdom, faith, and encouragement won’t be missed in the small print at the bottom of a posting. Enjoy!

Sister 1 -

Wow! I had no idea there were other people out there with all these same feelings that are running through my head, but mostly my heart. I was raised that homosexuality is wrong and that you are going to hell if you are gay. I am 33 years old and came out a year ago. For the most part everyone was supportive, considering their world was just turned upside down. The one that mattered the most, my mom has been awsome through it all. Don’t get me wrong. She has cried and denied that her daughter is a lesbian! But now has come to terms with it and just wants me to be happy. I have lost some very close relationships and that saddens me deeply, but I just think about it this way…it’s their loss! I spent my whole life being someone I was not to please everyone (God, my family, society) but at what cost (ME)! I just came to terms with my sexuality and embraced it! Nothing has changed, well I am a lot happier, but I am the same person with the same faith. I love God with all my heart and soul and believe that He died for me…so yes, I have gone through how can I be a lesbian and a Christian? I am just holding on to my faith and the love I have for my Lord and Savior, thank you Anita for this website I needed to know I was not the only one out there! It’s funny how we are so self-centered and like to pity ourselves…oh I’m the only one going through something like this…I should have known better! My heart goes out to everyone out there going through all the heart ache of coming out, just be true to yourself…the rest will follow. And be strong because it’s not going to be easy just hold on to the love and faith you have in God because if you lose that my friend you have lost it all! In God’s love, Yvonne.

Sister 2 -

I only came upon this site in January this year and all I can say is that it has broadened my mind to consider many perspectives on the subject of homosexuality. I am so interested in all the articles and still going through them one at a time. I am throughly enjoying the challenging thinking as I read each article and at the end of it I am most guided by the 2 laws that Jesus gave us – To love God first and to love your neighbour as yourself. Love is all encompassing and I think we humans cannot grasp this mystery easily due to our some form of conditional upbringing.

All I want to say for now is “thank you” for your efforts to bring us a new perspective. It is so liberating to keep challenging our thinking and moving the goalposts. That is what Jesus did in His time here on earth. I enjoyed this article and Dr Walter Wink’s article as well on this subject. I also thought the comments in response to the Wink article that addressed Judaism were good so that we do not clear our understanding of one thing at the expense of another. Good work all around. You should be so proud. You will see me here in the future I hope. For now I am enjoying moving through the thought and heart provoking articles.

Sister 3 -

(This comment was in response to the question “What loss has been your gain?”) It was last Easter during Lent that I found this site. I was struggling with the realization that I was gay and that I knew I could no longer hide and live being dishonest with myself, with my Lord, and with others. And yet, I feared that I would lose everything in my life – my relationship with Jesus, my family, friends, church, leadership and I would ruin my son’s life. I entered a depression as I realized that for 25 adult years, I had eaten to avoid being seen by anyone romantically and to numb the pain and the emotions. It allowed me to pretend that I was in control. The day before Easter, some of the losses had started, and I was ready to no longer live on this Earth. I just wanted to be home with my Father. I didn’t follow through with my plan because God intervened and I realized that nothing could separate me from the love of my God. Certainly not being gay. And that day, I lost my self-righteousness, my view of a God that would judge me for creating me gay. I lost hypocrisy, dishonesty, and my thought that I was in control of my life.

What did I gain? In the year since this momentous decision, I have gained a glimpse of the grace of my God. The kind of grace that makes me fall down on my knees and cry and wonder how I could ever be acceptable to Him, and yet the knowledge that I am. I have gained the knowledge that He created me, and He did so in His fashion, and that He has the perfect plan for my life. And wow, even when I don’t see it, it is indeed the perfect plan. I have gained my emotions, and the ability to turn them over to God for healing when hurt, instead of reaching for the first cookie I could find. I have gained the experience that physical intimacy and touch from a woman is acceptable to my Lord, because He created me as not only an intellectual being, but a sexual being who desires intimacy. I have realized that friends and family who only love or want a relationship with you because you are straight, are not really worth having. And while my parents may still wonder what they did wrong, they still love and want only my happiness for me. My son, wow — I learned that I have a son who loves unconditionally, who does not see race, creed, or sexuality as a reason to treat anyone differently. And while he still can’t pick up his socks or toys, he will be able to pick up life as an adult. I gained a bunch of new friends along the path, and reclaimed ones from my past that I walked away from because they were doing things I didn’t approve of. And finally, I gained a love for me, just as God created me, not perfect by any means, but growing and allowing Him to be in control. This time, it is an honest love – the kind of love that won’t allow me to hide from myself, others or God.

Your question made me look back at the past year, and I have gained so much more than I ever lost. While church, ministry, and even some close friends are gone, there is a new church, a new ministry, and new friends. And those are deeper and more fulfilling because they are based in honesty and the knowledge that my God loves EVERYONE, ALL THE TIME, AND IN THE MOST PERFECT WAY. Now that is a knowledge that surpasses all human understanding and calms one’s heart!

Now that’s what I’m talking about people!

Posted in Affirming, Perspectives, Questioning, SisterFriends