Comments on: Lesbian Relationships: Preparing for Love http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/ An online community sharing our lives and faith within a place of grace Thu, 22 Dec 2011 05:29:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Melody Wilson http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5739 Melody Wilson Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:48:54 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5739 I was strong in my faith and focused my life on god, and i jumped in way to fast, now i'm stuck in a relationship. My partner is weak in her faith, and she will only go to church if i am their to go with her. She has a bible, but never reads it, she'd rather read a novel or watch a movie. I just feel like this relationship i'm in is dragging me down spiritually and emotionally. I try to spend time with god, but its not like it use to be, and i feel distant from him. I don't think i spent enough time getting to know my gf before we got together, otherwise i would have seen the red flags of how her faith was, and other communication issues. I dislike breaking up, but i feel like were not meant for eachother. Should i wait it out, and hope that maybe she gains more interest in a relationship with god? I don't want to be in another godless relationship. I also find myself thinking about other women. Theirs this one girl that is LGBT Comissoner of the Senate of College, and I haven't even like had a conversation with her, but i find myself like off in la la land. Its not a lust thing either, I locked eyes with her, she caught my attentiion, and now i must be like Infactuated or something. Its like she had me from Hello. I feel like my heart was beating out of my chest, like i wanted to faint when i saw her. I know this is a sin because i'm in a relationship and i'm sure she is in a relationship. I think. But i just had to get that off my chest, i already told my gf about it, but she didn't seem to think it was much of an issue. Right now i'm involved with a gay friendly church, but for some reason i don't feel god's presence their. I'm use to experiencing his presence during worship, but since its a traditonal church, reading hymns..distracts me from his presence of comfort and peace. I'm sure other ppl must experience his presence in traditonal churches. Not just in worship either. It seems like more traditional churches are more accepting then non-denom. Churches. I even thought about going back to a un-accepting church. I also think their is a complete difference of listening to the bible on audio and reading it because i feel like when i read it, i get a better understanding of what i'm reading. I was strong in my faith and focused my life on god, and i jumped in way to fast, now i’m stuck in a relationship. My partner is weak in her faith, and she will only go to church if i am their to go with her. She has a bible, but never reads it, she’d rather read a novel or watch a movie. I just feel like this relationship i’m in is dragging me down spiritually and emotionally. I try to spend time with god, but its not like it use to be, and i feel distant from him. I don’t think i spent enough time getting to know my gf before we got together, otherwise i would have seen the red flags of how her faith was, and other communication issues. I dislike breaking up, but i feel like were not meant for eachother. Should i wait it out, and hope that maybe she gains more interest in a relationship with god? I don’t want to be in another godless relationship.

I also find myself thinking about other women. Theirs this one girl that is LGBT Comissoner of the Senate of College, and I haven’t even like had a conversation with her, but i find myself like off in la la land. Its not a lust thing either, I locked eyes with her, she caught my attentiion, and now i must be like Infactuated or something. Its like she had me from Hello. I feel like my heart was beating out of my chest, like i wanted to faint when i saw her. I know this is a sin because i’m in a relationship and i’m sure she is in a relationship. I think. But i just had to get that off my chest, i already told my gf about it, but she didn’t seem to think it was much of an issue.

Right now i’m involved with a gay friendly church, but for some reason i don’t feel god’s presence their. I’m use to experiencing his presence during worship, but since its a traditonal church, reading hymns..distracts me from his presence of comfort and peace. I’m sure other ppl must experience his presence in traditonal churches. Not just in worship either.

It seems like more traditional churches are more accepting then non-denom. Churches. I even thought about going back to a un-accepting church.

I also think their is a complete difference of listening to the bible on audio and reading it because i feel like when i read it, i get a better understanding of what i’m reading.

]]> By: Terri http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5563 Terri Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:09:39 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5563 I also jumped way before I was ready, had a very disastrous relationship that still has some ramifications that I'll be paying for, but I learnt from it. And now I've found a lovely woman who shares God's love with me, and is keeping me focused on HIM instead of us, especially now after this last weekend. I've seen what real love is, with my future wife sitting by my bedside in the hospital crying because I'm to stubborn to admit that I have medical problems. But we worked through it together, and after a lot of crying and "I don't want to lose you" we're working on getting as put back together as we both can be. It took a lot of prayer and it's going to take a lot of faith for me to do what needs to be done, but with her by my side and God's hand on my life, it will happen. I also jumped way before I was ready, had a very disastrous relationship that still has some ramifications that I’ll be paying for, but I learnt from it. And now I’ve found a lovely woman who shares God’s love with me, and is keeping me focused on HIM instead of us, especially now after this last weekend. I’ve seen what real love is, with my future wife sitting by my bedside in the hospital crying because I’m to stubborn to admit that I have medical problems. But we worked through it together, and after a lot of crying and “I don’t want to lose you” we’re working on getting as put back together as we both can be. It took a lot of prayer and it’s going to take a lot of faith for me to do what needs to be done, but with her by my side and God’s hand on my life, it will happen.

]]> By: Karyn http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5521 Karyn Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:41:43 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5521 Thank you Anita! I'm just ending a 5 1/2 year relationship. She was not a christian, and didn't understand the things I would talk about. I didn't have time to heal from my past, before I jumped into a relationship. I so wanted to be loved! Now I am spending time with me and God. I do feel peace through the pain...... Thank you Anita! I’m just ending a 5 1/2 year relationship. She was not a christian, and didn’t understand the things I would talk about. I didn’t have time to heal from my past, before I jumped into a relationship. I so wanted to be loved! Now I am spending time with me and God. I do feel peace through the pain……

]]> By: deb http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5487 deb Fri, 27 Feb 2009 06:19:10 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5487 Thank you. Taking it all to heart, dear friend. Thank you. Taking it all to heart, dear friend.

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5475 Stephanie Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:06:27 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5475 Yes, I do believe you're right on. Thanks Anita. Yes, I do believe you’re right on. Thanks Anita.

]]> By: Yollie http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5474 Yollie Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:45:06 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5474 Dear Anita wow thank you so much for the wise sound advice. Its such an eye opener!! I have just recently begun to allow the Lord to help me reconcile my faith with my sexuality, at times I still struggle, has taken me 2 years to get this far. There are no christian lesbians in sight where I work, fellowship and worship. So I'm at times totally in the dark not knowing how, where or what, all I knew was that I ,was lonely and sick and tired of being alone. Then I recently fell head over heels in love with a beautiful woman. I was totally besotted. I just wanted to be with her no matter what. But reading this series on dyke-dating has cautioned me not to pursue anything further for now neither one of us are ready. I'm now not only aware of relationship red flags but also focusing on important non-negotiables such as my love relationship with Jesus and taking care of myself first. I have quite a few blind spots in regard to this area. I thank the Lord for His protection of my very fragile heart through you guys here. Well I'm still besotted but am a sober besotted person. So sober I'm putting on the breaks. I haven't been scared off wishing, desiring or hoping for a relationship I don't think that will ever happen but I have much to consider, pursue and set right. I need to know me first before indulging in exploits such as romance and dating. Dear Anita
wow thank you so much for the wise sound advice. Its such an eye opener!! I have just recently begun to allow the Lord to help me reconcile my faith with my sexuality, at times I still struggle, has taken me 2 years to get this far. There are no christian lesbians in sight where I work, fellowship and worship. So I’m at times totally in the dark not knowing how, where or what, all I knew was that I ,was lonely and sick and tired of being alone. Then I recently fell head over heels in love with a beautiful woman. I was totally besotted. I just wanted to be with her no matter what. But reading this series on dyke-dating has cautioned me not to pursue anything further for now neither one of us are ready. I’m now not only aware of relationship red flags but also focusing on important non-negotiables such as my love relationship with Jesus and taking care of myself first. I have quite a few blind spots in regard to this area. I thank the Lord for His protection of my very fragile heart through you guys here. Well I’m still besotted but am a sober besotted person. So sober I’m putting on the breaks. I haven’t been scared off wishing, desiring or hoping for a relationship I don’t think that will ever happen but I have much to consider, pursue and set right. I need to know me first before indulging in exploits such as romance and dating.

]]> By: anita http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5471 anita Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:05:47 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5471 Stephanie-->"It was very hard to deal with everything all at once. It was almost too much." Amen on that. Like you I don't find it all that helpful to dwell on the "I wish I could have" because I know if I could have, I would have. I think we were all just doing the best we knew how to get through it all. The good thing about looking back isn't just seeing how far we've come but all confronting the reality that where we were is right were is right where other people in their lives. They're living today in the "almost too much" and so we share the hope that we can be available to help ease their journey a little along the way. That would be the greatest result that could come from any of our blogs...this blog, your blog, as well as the blogs of Joni, Kelli, Susan, and all the rest. Don't cha think? Stephanie–>”It was very hard to deal with everything all at once. It was almost too much.” Amen on that. Like you I don’t find it all that helpful to dwell on the “I wish I could have” because I know if I could have, I would have. I think we were all just doing the best we knew how to get through it all. The good thing about looking back isn’t just seeing how far we’ve come but all confronting the reality that where we were is right were is right where other people in their lives. They’re living today in the “almost too much” and so we share the hope that we can be available to help ease their journey a little along the way. That would be the greatest result that could come from any of our blogs…this blog, your blog, as well as the blogs of Joni, Kelli, Susan, and all the rest. Don’t cha think?

]]> By: Stephanie http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/preparing-for-love-1/comment-page-1/#comment-5470 Stephanie Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:45:06 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=2282#comment-5470 Anita, This is some really good and very sound advice. I think this post should have it's own special category so folks can refer to it easily. This is stuff I so wish I would've thought about and looked at prior to falling in love. Looking back on my own journey, I see that I did have the time to work through all of what you mentioned prior to meeting Michelle. But I choose to spend my time trying not to be gay. Although in my case, there is no doubt that Michelle is the right person for me, I sure could have saved myself and others around me a lot of heartache and pain. It was VERY hard to deal with everything all at once. It was almost too much. I don't like to dwell on the "I wish I would've" too much but I look back and wonder how much more I could have enjoyed if my unresolved issues weren't sucking the joy and life right out of me. I can't agree more with what you have shared here. Very valuable advice. Anita,

This is some really good and very sound advice. I think this post should have it’s own special category so folks can refer to it easily. This is stuff I so wish I would’ve thought about and looked at prior to falling in love.

Looking back on my own journey, I see that I did have the time to work through all of what you mentioned prior to meeting Michelle. But I choose to spend my time trying not to be gay.

Although in my case, there is no doubt that Michelle is the right person for me, I sure could have saved myself and others around me a lot of heartache and pain. It was VERY hard to deal with everything all at once. It was almost too much.

I don’t like to dwell on the “I wish I would’ve” too much but I look back and wonder how much more I could have enjoyed if my unresolved issues weren’t sucking the joy and life right out of me.

I can’t agree more with what you have shared here. Very valuable advice.

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