Comments on: Setting the Ground Work http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/setting-the-ground-work/ An online community sharing our lives and faith within a place of grace Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:47:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: DragonLady http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/setting-the-ground-work/comment-page-1/#comment-1391 DragonLady Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:30:07 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=313#comment-1391 I love that definition of Intimacy. Do you think that complete personal integration is possible while on this mortal plane? For me 'tis a never ending struggle. BTW we are having great fun spamming up your forums. I love that definition of Intimacy. Do you think that complete personal integration is possible while on this mortal plane? For me ’tis a never ending struggle.

BTW we are having great fun spamming up your forums.

]]> By: Susan http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/setting-the-ground-work/comment-page-1/#comment-1390 Susan Sat, 26 Jul 2008 04:17:53 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=313#comment-1390 Anita, Thanks for coming back to this topic. I believe that our sexual selves are gifts from God in that we've been given that as a means of expressing love with and through our bodies. And I believe that in moments of intimacy, that are not coerced or coming about by manipulation, God is there. God celebrates our sexuality. When I read the Song of Solomon in the OT, I think, "This is one heck of a love poem!" and in reflecting on phrases like, "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine", I sense God is OK with us having sex as long as we are acting from a place of love. As you noted, where this gets tricky is when *the church* (read: people) sets a sexual ethic that says you can't spend the night together unless you're married. And most places still don't let gay people get married, and that means we're supposed to remain celibate. And I think even the apostle Paul...who struggles so hard with the flesh/spirit duality...recognized not everybody can be celibate. "Respect the dignity of every human being". As long as I'm treating the person I love with same respect and love I want for myself, I believe my sex life is getting a thumbs up from God. I look forward to more! Anita,
Thanks for coming back to this topic. I believe that our sexual selves are gifts from God in that we’ve been given that as a means of expressing love with and through our bodies. And I believe that in moments of intimacy, that are not coerced or coming about by manipulation, God is there. God celebrates our sexuality. When I read the Song of Solomon in the OT, I think, “This is one heck of a love poem!” and in reflecting on phrases like, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine”, I sense God is OK with us having sex as long as we are acting from a place of love.
As you noted, where this gets tricky is when *the church* (read: people) sets a sexual ethic that says you can’t spend the night together unless you’re married. And most places still don’t let gay people get married, and that means we’re supposed to remain celibate. And I think even the apostle Paul…who struggles so hard with the flesh/spirit duality…recognized not everybody can be celibate.
“Respect the dignity of every human being”. As long as I’m treating the person I love with same respect and love I want for myself, I believe my sex life is getting a thumbs up from God. I look forward to more!

]]> By: Lisa http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/setting-the-ground-work/comment-page-1/#comment-1389 Lisa Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:58:35 +0000 http://www.sisterfriends-together.org/?p=313#comment-1389 Hi, Anita, Thanks first for the recommendation of _Gifted by Otherness_. I'm halfway through and can tell it's a message that'll stick with me. Thanks also for diving into the topic of sexual ethics. I've wondered many times over the course of the past couple years, as I've come out to myself and to a few trusted friends, how in the world can I deal with the sexual aspect of my partnership? It's such a complex issue. I've asked the same questions you raised: how can sex ever be okay in a gay Christian framework when sex outside marriage is not okay, and marriage is, in most cases, not an option. I'm starting to realize that the sex issue is primarily between my partner and I and God, not so much the church. We want nothing more than to have a very meaningful commitment ceremony [hopefully within the next year?] but more than that, we both want to be able to be strong enough in our spiritual lives and on solid ground with God so that God's approval is the focus, not whether or not we're legally marriage or given sanction by the church to have sex. We'll never have that in many people's books in our lifetime probably, and that'll have to be okay. As important as the civil rights issue is to me, what's most important is being obedient to the Spirit, and right now we've both felt we need to abstain from sex until we feel otherwise, or until we have a commitment ceremony---whichever comes first, I suppose. Any advice is much appreciated. Best to you! Hi, Anita,
Thanks first for the recommendation of _Gifted by Otherness_. I’m halfway through and can tell it’s a message that’ll stick with me. Thanks also for diving into the topic of sexual ethics. I’ve wondered many times over the course of the past couple years, as I’ve come out to myself and to a few trusted friends, how in the world can I deal with the sexual aspect of my partnership? It’s such a complex issue. I’ve asked the same questions you raised: how can sex ever be okay in a gay Christian framework when sex outside marriage is not okay, and marriage is, in most cases, not an option. I’m starting to realize that the sex issue is primarily between my partner and I and God, not so much the church. We want nothing more than to have a very meaningful commitment ceremony [hopefully within the next year?] but more than that, we both want to be able to be strong enough in our spiritual lives and on solid ground with God so that God’s approval is the focus, not whether or not we’re legally marriage or given sanction by the church to have sex. We’ll never have that in many people’s books in our lifetime probably, and that’ll have to be okay. As important as the civil rights issue is to me, what’s most important is being obedient to the Spirit, and right now we’ve both felt we need to abstain from sex until we feel otherwise, or until we have a commitment ceremony—whichever comes first, I suppose. Any advice is much appreciated.
Best to you!

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