The T in GLBTQ Belongs Right Where It Is

May 15, 2008

When I first came out in the mid-90’s and began to hang around with other queer folks, I was embarrassed to be identified in the same group as those who were transgendered. It pains me to say that, so much so that 10 years later I’m sitting in Starbucks with tears in my eyes. I tend to offer blog confesions a lot, a mix of both seeking absolution and a hope others can learn from my plethora of mistakes, and let’s be very clear, I won’t be running out of teaching material anytime soon!

There was woman at the small gay church I attended who was transgendered. She’d been born with a biological male but all her life had known her true self to be a woman. She said her body had never belonged to her, that when she was a little boy she knew inside she was a little girl. While living in society in a way that matched her biological body, she married a woman, had children, went to her job everyday and took her family to church every Sunday. Sometimes when their children were in bed and her wife was out of the house, she’d put on her wife’s clothes and imagine herself out among people being seen and accepted as a woman. I don’t know how long this all went on but at some point she could live the lie no more and so she began dressing as a woman in public, changed her name legally and began a new life defining herself to the world as woman. Because that’s what she was inside.

When I first met her she was in her fifties and my first impression was she was a man in a dress. Whether by intentional choice or by financial limitations she’d never pursued medical treatments or gender re-assignment surgery, and there was nothing about her physical appearance that passed well to the world as a woman. Here was a human being who must have already endured more inner turmoil and ridicule in her life than I will ever know in mine but instead of being moved by compassion, I was uncomfortable and embarrassed. I didn’t want to be identified with her. I didn’t want to have to explain or defend her to the world while I was so preoccupied on trying to get the world to understand what it meant for me to be a lesbian. The T in GLBT made me squirm.

I don’t remember the time or circumstances that led to my change of heart and attitude. I don’t know if I heard someone speak or I read a book or watched a movie that began the shift for me. Whatever it was God used it to nudge me to repentance. And a call to repentance it was, complete with remorse, confession, and actively turning another way. And though I have so far to go, I continue to turn. Along the way I’ve been blessed, and I mean that in the most absolute real way, to spend time learning and growing from folks like Erin Swenson, Justin Tanis, Malcolm Himschoot and Virginia Mollenkott, while in my previous work at the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and Ministry I was given the opportunity to attend their first Transgender Religious Leadership Summit. Okay, by attend I mean I prepared all the meals for the Transgender Religious Leadership Summit but I eavesdropped over the lunch table conversations so cut me some slack, and they raved about my food which I mention for no particular reason other than for my ego!

Wow, did I digress there so let me jump back in by dissecting the GLBTQ. Sexual orientation and gender-identity are two separate issues. GLB represents gay, lesbian, and bisexual and their definitions are reasonably clear. Those who identify as gay and lesbian are sexually attracted to the same sex. Bisexuals are sexually attracted to both sexes. All three are related to sexual orientation.

The T stands for transgender and is a more sweeping term which includes those individuals who in one way or another cross gender lines. It includes transsexuals who identify themselves as the opposite sex to what their physical anatomy suggests. They may or may not have re-assignment surgery to line up their physical body with their internal identity. It also includes transvestites who often dress in clothing more commonly identified with the opposite sex. Wherever individuals fall under the definition of transgender, their primary issue concerns gender identity.

The Q as I use it represents all those who are questioning some aspect of their sexual orientation or identity and for those who identify as queer having refused to let established gender definitions limit their self-definition. For my straight readership, all 2.3 of you, queer is a pejorative term that’s been reclaimed by some GLBT people as an all encompassing term while being one of those words that becomes offensive when used by those outside it’s definition.

Getting back to where I was about 103 words ago, sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate issues and for that reason some GLB voices, individual and organizational, resist including the T. They want to distance themselves for reasons ranging from the political to the personal.

While it’s true the particulars of our lives might be different, we’re all dealing with issues related to human sexuality. Whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, we’ve experienced exclusion from the church, and have been at the receiving end of prejudice, intolerance, and hate because something about us doesn’t fit within the rigid boundaries that society has created around human sexuality. The line goes that men are suppose to be sexually attracted to women and women to men and individuals born with a penis are male and those born with a vagina are women. It’s black and white and set in stone, but we’re saying it’s not. We don’t fit within those perimeters and rather than accepting that our understanding of human sexuality doesn’t include us, we’re saying that our understanding of human sexuality is too narrow and we need to expand our minds and our definitions. The way I see it is that when we talk in broad terms and the issue is human sexuality and the goal is justice, then GLBTQ all falls under the same umbrella.

If others need to be particular fine. Wait. No, it’s not fine and it’s not fine for the simple reason that it’s never acceptable for those who have been oppressed to oppress. It’s never reasonable or understandable or excusable for those who have been marginalized to push someone else out to the edges. Never.

As gays, lesbians and bisexuals we have the responsibility to do exactly for our transgendered brothers and sisters as we expect others to do for us. We need to educate ourselves to transgendered issues and acquaint ourselves with the lives of transgendered men and women. We need to focus on our commonality, build understanding at our points of difference, and then make space for each other under the umbrella. We really need to do this because it’s what the Gospel has been calling us to do all along. As we continue to move forward in our Christian walk as gay and lesbian people, I want to suggest we don’t limit our vision or commitment to ourselves alone but to any and all who stand this side short of full equality and inclusion in the church and society.

If you want to gain a better understanding of trans folks, here are a few excellent resources from a transgender faith perspective.

• Trans-Faith Online - A premier site complete with original text, audio, and video resources housed in the section on Basics.
• Crossing the T - Personal blog of Rev. Allyson Robinson
• Ministare - Personal blog of Rev. Sean Parker Dennison
• Call Me Malcolm - A professionally produced 90 minute documentary that follows the journey of Rev. Malcolm Himschoot while in seminary that highlights his struggles with faith, love and gender identity.

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Posted in Transgendered