I wish you and your girlfriend blessings!

My girlfriend was ina n ex-gay ministry and though she now lives in an openly lesbian relationship with me and does not believe that homosexuality is wrong, she will tell anyone who will listen about the wonderful and amazing acts of healing God did for her while she was in that ex-gay ministry. No, she wasn’t “cured” of her homosexuality but she did work through a lot of issues about all kinds of things and really experienced God in a powerful way. THis just proves that God can use all kinds of circumstances and people to speak to us, heal us and forgive us.

I’ll be upfront, I am an “ex-lesbian”. I have never supported “restorative” ministry because from my limited knowledge of it, it has always seemed far more harmful than healing. Nor did I ever seek counseling to “fix” my lesbian identity. I do not place blame on events or people for creating an “illness” in me. I don’t believe that my lesbianism reflected a deficiency of character or lack of willpower when tempted. In fact, my departure from lesbian relationships wasn’t SOUGHT out at all.

As someone from “the other side” I would like to add a dimension that I did not see addressed here. First I would like to say however that I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a topical powerhouse on the subject, I can only share my thoughts and experiences. Second, I have to clarify that my comments here are derived SOLELY from my own thoughts and experiences and that I cannot and will not try and speak for anyone else.

I don’t consider myself “healed” of any immoral attitudes, actions or depravaties. Forgiven? Yes, as are all who believe in the lordship of Christ. I came to believe in a God of grace, who has a desire to use those He seeks out as believers for His divine purposes. He created us to enjoy relationship with Him. I am secure in my belief that God gave us relationship with each other in order to love others as He loves us. My thought is, if God loved me and sought me out when so many Christians did not, who am I to not love someone who’s theology differs from mine?

I am also very secure in my belief that lesbian relationships are not for me. I’m less certain that homosexuality is strictly prohibited in Biblical terms, although I do question it in that if I am to be a Christian I should not interpret scripture for myself but I am called to prove it’s truth through study and examination of it’s contents and contexts. Because of that, my very personal revelation was that God created man to be in relationship with Him, and while he created gendered animals, he only created one sex of human. He wasn’t pleased with that and created a complementary gender to be in relationship with the man. Without original sin would there be same-sex attraction and intimate relationship? I honestly don’t have a clue about that, but I do know that for me, I didn’t feel pressure from my family (although their reactions to my lesbian relationships ranged from indifferent to maniacally opposed) to “change”, I didn’t feel career pressure to become “heterosexual” (I work in a field which seems to attract a larger percentage of homosexuals than others I’m aware of); nor did I feel inherently flawed – as I saw mentioned in an earlier response I didn’t feel that my sexual identity made me a potential tenderbox of sin to others. What I did feel, and what I continue to feel, is that I was in the wrong place for me. In many ways, one of which was the relationships I’d been in.

I stand with Anita in saying that I celebrate along with anyone, regardless of their “sin”, whose life is enriched and blessed by the presence of Christ. I don’t feel that a Christian is less affirmed in their confession of Christ than another because their theology doesn’t match mine. I don’t feel that it’s my responsibility to do anything other than share lovingly (and largely only when asked) that I haven’t been able to reconcile my Christian beliefs with lesbian relationships. That does not in any way give me reign or calling to declare anyone in a homosexual relationship incapable of accepting Christ. As Christians with individual relationships with the Trinity I leave a persons callings (relational, vocational, recreational etc. between themselves and God). I have a hard time knowing that so many people I know who are gay or lesbian have been persecuted in the name of Christ. It’s my utmost belief that He never condones or endorses persecution.

I hope that I’ve been able to aptly convey my recognition that because my relationship with Christ doesn’t leave room for me to have lesbian relationships that I do not, will not and don’t believe that relationship to be representative of anyone else’s relationship with Him. It is my sincere wish as well to express again my great appreciation for this conversation, late as I may be in participating.