Who is Rejecting Who?

January 1, 2006

Though my story is brief I wanted to share it because it is the opposite of so many of the others included here.

When I was a child my Mom shipped me to every Vacation Bible School in the world, not for the sake of my soul but I suspect the sake of her sanity. I went to church every Sunday and had been saved but alas I was a wild child. I knew by the time I was 14 I was gay and was out to a member of my family. By 17 I was out to my entire family and was accepted for who I was (they are not religious). I knew the church rejected me though and thereby God would reject me. So I went along my way believing that God and all other Christians would reject me.

Eventually I moved to Dallas and discovered that there were gay churches. But still I did not return to God. The woman I was with was burned on organized religion and felt if you couldn’t be perfect you couldn’t be a Christian so I followed along.

Then I began to feel a pull on my heart. I have the perfect wife of 9 years, a nice house and a stable, well paying, challenging job. In my mind I had, and still have, it all. I tried to ignore the pull in my heart. Then my wife was diagnosed with a tumor. I knew the only person to turn to was God. I became clear to me that God was what was missing in my perfect life. I began to pray everyday several times a day. I began to see the wonders that He relieved to me everyday. My wife’s tumor turn out to be a fibroid and she is well. I was diagnosed last year with a disease that does not have a cure but is not life threatening. One of the side effects is weight loss. Having been heavy all my life I was even able to give thanks in illness. God gives us many miracles but it’s up to us to recognize them. I guess my point to this is that is never about God rejecting us but rather us rejecting God, but i’ts never too late to return or come to God.

This personal story of faith and reconciliation comes from the archives of www.christianlesbians.com and was originally posted in 2004.

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Posted in Personal Stories